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You have one superpower, but the next commentor restricts your power with a condition. What is your superpower?

E1: Keep them coming guys, these responses are gold!

E2: I don't know about you guys, but I had some fun in this thread. Let's play again sometime!

E3: If you want to play more games like this one, check out /t/metagames!

3 years ago by leetmoaf with 231 comments

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Conversation 14 comments by 6 users
  • Gelidaer
    +7

    I always wanted to freely control time.

    • ClarkKent
      +9

      Time only freezes when you are pooping.

      • Gelidaer
        +8

        Does that mean that I can do stuff if I keep the turd sticking out?

        • ClarkKent
          +7

          Yes, yes it does. I would love a video of you hunched over while a brick turd is going out and you have frozen time in excruciating pain cause all you want to do is well doo.

          • Gelidaer
            +4

            I'll post a video if I ever manage to do it!

            • ClarkKent
              +2

              Saving this conversation.

            • Gelidaer
              +2
              @ClarkKent -

              You're gonna have to wait a while for time travel, or not; it's time travel.

            • ClarkKent
              +1
              @Gelidaer -

              /u/Gelidaer , I am a very patient... :).

            • Chinky
              +2

              You are a magnificant beast.

    • sea
      +4

      You are always aware of it. It's like a muscle, that controls the fourth dimension. But when that muscle gets tired, your control slips. Time speed up, slows down, hell, it even starts to go backwards. You can never rest.

      • Gelidaer
        +3

        Shit, starting off, everything will go crazy but that'll only be apparent to me. It'll feel like I'm insane at times then, as my endurance grows, my bouts of sanity will grow as well. That's a pretty good restriction.

        • ColdwaterQ
          +2

          But by the time you learn to control it, every realty will have you locked in a mental institution.

    • Roundcat
      +1

      But you can only move forward 1 second at a time.

Conversation 7 comments by 5 users
  • galactica216
    +6

    I wish I had the ability to turn into a flying ,invisible "spirit".

    • FishKnight
      +6

      You leave behind a trail of slimy green Ghostbusters style ectoplasm whenever you become the "spirit".

      • sea
        +1

        Well that was creative.

    • Wenjarich (edited 3 years ago)
      +3

      "Welcome Galactica216, to the after life. Thank you for choosing to use our one way ticket to death. We hope you enjoy your stay. As you are a new visitor to our realm, your means of interaction with the living world shall be limited to pushing and pulling objects and making people feel slightly cold. Please place your ethereal appendage on the glowing plate.....Thank You!"

      "Now lets get you settled in. Seeing as you did not die by some horrible violent death, you have the privilege to choose the location to which you will be ummm...living is not quite the word...staying? yes lets go with that. The locations you may choose from include your current home, your house of birth or your work pla...what's that? Yes suure, leaving the location is indeed an option, what an insightful question, yes after a good 300 years of interacting with the living world you earn yourself loyalty points which can be spent however you choose on option that include, but are not limited to, moving between locations or even choosing extra ways in which you may interact with the living world."

      "Ok well, I think that'll be all then, if you have no questions then I'll just be ... What's that now? You don't have what? Oh oh yes,of course, I nearly forgot you wanted flight. Hmm let me see yes, you were rather clever negotiating that one. Usually takes a good 600 years to earn that. Boss must have liked you. I'll put through the appropriate forms to get that set up shall I? Tata then!"

      Edit: Grammar

    • sea
      +3

      You are now a flying, invisible glass of whiskey.

    • leetmoaf
      +2

      Your etheral self can do anything, but when your parents have sex, you teleport to their location. When the sex is over, you revert to your regular self right then and there. Your ability has a 4 hour cooldown.

Conversation 13 comments by 6 users
  • FishKnight
    +11

    I can breath underwater.

    • Gelidaer
      +10

      But only under water, never in water.

      • FishKnight
        +5

        Like the only time I can breath is when I'm under some volume of water? No more regular air breathing capabilities? I have to walk around with a container of water over my head? On top of that, if the water over top of me (that I rely on to breath) somehow falls on me and I get wet, I'm now "in water" and cannot breath. My superpower is a curse.

        • Schwut
          +5

          /u/fishknight my friend, I have heard your cry for help and arrived to save you using my power of technicality, which I wield in my double edged sword of technicality. Naturally, like any double edged sword, the double edged sword of technicality deals in both good news and bad news, never one without the other.

          The good news: Technically, you are always under water at all times, water in its gaseous form, so breath easy my friend.

          The bad news: Technically, the power to breath under water in its gaseous form is not technically a power, so you have no power. Technically, that makes you a normal human.

          No need to thank me, my power comes with great responsibility, and should you ever need me again, I will be there.

          • Chinky
            +2

            The double edged sword of technicality is awe inspiring whenever it is unsheathed.

            • Schwut
              +1

              Yet at the same time strangely boring.

          • FishKnight
            +1

            /u/Schwut, you are the real hero, with your double edged sword of technicality, quick thinking and propensity for loopholes. I am normal again! Except for when it rains I'm a water version of Mr. Glass.

            • Schwut
              +1

              I should really start working for a politician. "Technically, he did say he would do that during his campaign, but did he promise it?"

        • Gelidaer
          +2

          Good luck!

    • FivesandSevens
      +2

      You lose your sense of sight while breathing underwater.

      • FishKnight
        +1

        Although this does put a damper on things, I can still go free-diving without the need to return to the surface for air.

        • flowerpunk
          +1

          And see none of it ? not sure it would be worth it... unless - loophole - you can hold your breath (so, not 'breathing')' for small amounts of time and have your vision during those moments ?

Conversation 10 comments by 6 users
  • Juka
    +3

    Telekinesis.

    • sea
      +5

      You can only control your own body parts.

      • leetmoaf
        +4

        If you cut off your hands you have super reach. Other than decay, I see no downside to this. Good condition!

        • sea
          +1

          Ahahah, I love it! Hadn't thought of that

      • neg8ivezero
        +3

        This is by far the best response to any of the powers in this thread.

      • Juka
        +2

        Thats pretty good actually it should mean i can fly without any bad conditions.

        • neg8ivezero
          +1

          Not really, or at least not how I see it.

          Telekinesis uses the power of your mind to move objects (imagine a giant, invisible, extra arm coming out of your head). To move your entire body off the ground, you would need a force outside of your body to act against it or you would need your telekinesis to act against another reference object to obtain any lift.

    • AinBaya
      +1

      A combination of the comments that were above this when I made it. You can only control your own body parts, while asleep, on cardboard.

    • Palmento
      +1

      Only when you're asleep.

    • leetmoaf
      +1

      Only on cardboard boxes.

Conversation 26 comments by 13 users
  • AinBaya
    +4

    The ability to manifest matter using energy, like green lantern

    • leetmoaf
      +7

      50% chance that the manifested matter becomes a sex toy.

    • Dattix
      +4

      The laws of physics dictate that said matter must be taken out of something you specifically have in mind; if nothing in mind, then yourself.

      • AinBaya
        +2

        So it creates what I'm thinking of and if I pull a blank it duplicates me?

        • Palmento
          +3

          I think it means you have to use your own matter to form the object. Although if you have matter to spare like I do, it may not necessarily be a bad thing.

          • AinBaya
            +3

            Oh, like equivalent exchange. I get it.

            • JohnDough99999
              +2

              I dont know about you but I could loose a few pounds.

            • AinBaya
              +1
              @JohnDough99999 -

              Yeah, sure I would live to manifest a computer and make it using my own fat but I only have so much fat

            • Wenjarich (edited 3 years ago)
              +5
              @JohnDough99999 -

              This reminds me of a magic mechanism I once thought up for fantasy story. The idea was that magic is all around us and we can store it in our bodies and we are then able to utilise the stored magic in our bodies to do extra ordinary things like casting various spells.

              The thing is that because magic is very similar to energy, our body treats it similarly to excess energy and stores it in our fat cells. Therefore you have a lot of people walking around who look really overweight because they don't ever want to be without access to casting magic.

              However, the more experienced you become, the more dense your "magic fat matter" becomes and so the more you can do with less amounts of fat. Therefore the most powerful mages can actually afford to walk around thin and still achieve amazing things but do to their size a lot of people can mistake them for weak or non spell caster, allowing for some fun story potential.

              Haha ya I spend way to much time thinking up potential strange magic systems for stories haha :P

            • AinBaya
              +1
              @Wenjarich -

              That sounds awesome. Like seriously

            • Wenjarich
              +1
              @AinBaya -

              Haha thanks man, This is something I have found myself thinking about a lot over the years. Mainly because it's fun for me, even if I don't write anything about it. :P I enjoy making up stories and the background around them.

              I once wrote about 150 pages of a modern day fantasy novel but I didn't back it up (this is where I learnt my lesson :P I now back EVERYTHING up). Our computer crashed and all the data was corrupted and so I lost it all. I tried to re-write it but it came out too mechanical because I was trying to rush through to where I was before. So I left it. This is why I have only really written short stories since.

            • AinBaya
              +2
              @Wenjarich -

              Sweet. I love the creativity that comes with writing. Yeah, I back up practically everything now. My music, contracts, email, docs, accounts for some services and more are backed/connected to google so I can pick up a new android phone and have it feel like home within 5 minutes

            • neg8ivezero
              +2
              @Wenjarich -

              I write all the time and this is a wonderful story prompt! If you like to write, please use it some time and make a post with the results, I would love to read it!

            • Wenjarich
              +2
              @neg8ivezero -

              I doubt I will write on this particular. There's a few other ideas I would like to try write before this topic. You are wecome to give it a go :)

            • Chinky
              +2
              @JohnDough99999 -

              But how useful can a sword made out of back fat possibly be?

            • Chinky
              +2
              @Wenjarich -

              If you ever make a game I would love to play test it.

            • Wenjarich
              +2
              @Chinky -

              I would think a normal swod would be more of a threat in this setting rather than normal settings. Cut through a man's fat and he can't draw the magic stored in those cells. I also imagine that due to being so dependent on magic and having allowed themselves to grow to (some of the more obsessed) rediculous sizes they would not only not think of attack by sword (who lower themselves to such barbaric acts) but they'd be significantly slow at dodging, in fact rather easy to hit at their size. This is all assuming you manage to avoid being fried by magic....

              "Hey Phil, did you see a glint of something on that roof beam?" How was he to know these would be his last words? A look of stupor washed over his face as his hands fumbled at his three chins for the sharp stick they had swallowed. Phil's body wobbled as he tried to spin to see his friend fall. His mind raced, what magic is this, how did I not sense it? these are not questions he found answers to as a blinding pain shot through his spine. As his vision faded he found himself in wonder, Facinating, there are voids in my body where I should feel magic. What a thesis this would make.

            • Wenjarich
              +2
              @Chinky -

              Sho, thank you, that's quite the compliment :) unfortunately I don't have any aspersions to make my own game. It would take me too much time. (I'm assuming you mean make my own gaming system :P)

            • Chinky
              +1
              @Wenjarich -

              I've been working on one off and on for about a year and a half. It's not too terribly hard, just depends on how much you want to delve into it.

    • CuppaMatt
      +2

      The energy for your constructs comes from your body's fat reserves. When the construct disappears the fat returns (you cannot make permanent constructs and their duration is random).

    • zaywolfe
      +2

      All matter you manifest is in the shape of Nazi memorabilia.

      • AinBaya
        +2

        Hmmm... Specific. I like it. So I could create whatever I wanted but it would be Nazi branded like they're own product line?

      • Gelidaer
        +1

        You'll be rich!

    • sea
      +1

      Everything you touch immediately turns to goop, until you exercise your power over it.

      • ColdwaterQ
        +1

        Including people, and gloves don't prevent it so it is like king Midas but worse.

Conversation 8 comments by 5 users
  • sirlag
    +1

    Levitating would be neat.

    • Wenjarich
      +1

      You can only levitate exactly 1mm above a surface you could normally stand on. The plus side being, your feet will get less dirty when walking barefoot. :)

      • sirlag
        +1

        Free air mattress man!

        • Wenjarich
          +1

          hahaha I like your positive outlook :P

    • sea
      +1

      You can only control when you STOP levitating.

      • sirlag
        +1

        That would be interesting to control.

    • i208khonsu
      +1

      You can only levitate your exact body weight, nothing more. No weapons, no tools, no clothes, etc...

    • Iscalar
      +1

      But only when you're sleeping.

Conversation 7 comments by 6 users
  • flowerpunk
    +3

    The power of non-suffering. Nothing can ever cause me suffering.

    • leetmoaf
      +3

      Because the suffering has been transferred to the people you hold close.

      • flowerpunk
        +1

        But that would cause me suffering.

      • Chinky
        +1

        Which doesn't make him sad either. So he's just a poor jaded soul.

    • HeyYourself
      +2

      That would actually be pretty horrible.

    • sea
      +2

      You become so happy that people around you become resentful and bitter when you do not grieve for lost friends and family. Nice work alienating everyone you know.

    • CuppaMatt
      +2

      .......or happiness

Conversation 8 comments by 6 users
  • TheDylantula
    +4

    I've always wanted the power of a DVR. To flow through time at will.

    • Palmento (edited 3 years ago)
      +4

      And like the original DVR, you have to be on a 10 minute delay.

      • TheDylantula
        +3

        Crap, that's actually kinda difficult. Walking? Ten minute delay. I'll be walking into shit all over the place :(

        • Palmento
          +3

          Haha, don't cross the street.

    • sea
      +2

      You are not a separate entity from the flow of time. So if you go back, you lose all your memories, if you go forward, you suddenly have a bunch of memories to sift through. Time would also flow exactly the same, so it would make no difference that you could go forwards and backwards.

    • Arzeus (edited 3 years ago)
      +2

      But your memories will be erased and the only thing you know is that you can flow through time at will.

    • flowerpunk
      +1

      More akin to VHS, the quality and authenticity of your memories degrades. Reality stays the same but you're increasingly unsure of it. Alternatively, your memories stay intact but reality is distorted ? take your pick!

    • Havok
      +1

      Similar to some real DVRs, your control stops in the presence of any ad

Conversation 9 comments by 6 users
  • leetmoaf
    +10

    I always wanted the ability to phase through walls.

    • Arzeus
      +12

      You can phase through walls but not your clothes.

      • leetmoaf
        +6

        I like your style. Totally worth it

        • Gelidaer
          +3

          Lol, you just come out the other side naked.

    • sea
      +10

      The only way you can now enter and exit rooms is by phasing through the walls. No doors, no windows, only phasing.

      • leetmoaf
        +1

        That leaves me with so much more opportunity than most regular folk!

    • cheezoncrack
      +4

      only when being chased by a horde of zombies

    • Havok
      +1

      You phase through yourself and other people as well

Conversation 13 comments by 9 users
  • idlethreat
    +9

    I can become invisible at will.

    Do your worst

    • leetmoaf (edited 3 years ago)
      +12

      Becoming invisible releases a pungent odor with a 2 foot radius around you at all times.

      Edit: I thought of another one: we can see anything in your digestive system.

      • idlethreat
        +10

        Sooo. Life's pretty much normal, then.

    • sea
      +5

      You can BECOME invisible at will, but you can't turn BACK at will. Goodluck.

    • FishKnight (edited 3 years ago)
      +4

      Your superpower is that "you" become invisible, meaning your clothes do not. Thus, my condition is that your power only last for a short duration (say 5 minutes), and takes just as long to recharge.

      • idlethreat
        +4

        5 Minutes and naked? Not a problem.

        • Dattix
          +1

          Princess Peach ran into that once while locked in a moon base. Maybe you two should have invisible sex.

    • Roundcat
      +2

      Nobody can see you, but you can't see anybody either.

      • idlethreat
        +1

        Aah, the crafty "become blind at will" super power.

    • Chinky
      +1

      You become blind whenever you are invisible.

    • flowerpunk
      +1

      To do so, you require a Cyberbrain and may contract cyberbrain sclerosis.

    • Havok
      +1

      Your browsing history floats beside you everywhere you go

  • ainmosni
    +7

    Instant understanding, whenever I see a skill being described/used, I master it instantly.

    • Wenjarich
      +7

      You immediately master that skill but completely forget everything you learnt about the last skill you learnt. This means that from the day you acquired this power, you are unable to pick up more than one extra skill from the skill set you had on that life changing day.

      So lets say after high school, you fell in a toxic pit of brains (haha it's a power acquiring origin story, why does it have to make sense :P) Then after that day, you are able to pick up any, skill, any knowledge instantly and perfectly but only the one because once you pick up the next you forget the one before. So you will be your high school self + one other skill/ piece of knowledge for the rest of your life.

      Still can be pretty good, but good luck with multitasking :P

    • Havok
      +4

      You only have room for 10 skills, and this includes things like walking and talking.

    • genuineparts
      +4

      Everytime you learn a skill you have an overwhelming, uncontrollable urge to use it until the next skill you learn. Let me teach you the art of public masturbation!

      • Wenjarich
        +5

        If that were the restriction then I would add that they have no choice as to whether they learn the skill or not. Watching TV and see a martial arts guy, boom sudden knowledge and urge to kick people. Walking through the street, see a skateboarder, boom instant boarding expert and uncontrollable urge to skateboard. Watching porn, boom best sex god machine ever but needs to screw the closest person around. So many things we see can be considered a skill and they said they can learn simply be seeing it done. Their life might become rather overwhelming pretty quickly :P

        • genuineparts
          +3

          I kinda (probably wrongly) assumed that this was the case since he did not specify that he could choose to master it. But you are right!

          • Wenjarich (edited 3 years ago)
            +1

            Ya just thought I would add it in so that I could use it to illustrate how quickly things will become really chaotic haha. Although, assuming they don't go crazy, I guess there will eventually be a point where they will slowly stop seeing new skills they haven't seen. In such a case they will become practically like a god, just a god with a really absurd obsession with a particular skill.....

            "Dude, seriously, no one knows medicine better than you, If anyone can cure cancer it is you! I've seen some of your stuff."

            "No! You don't understand, I....MUST.....MAKE.....ONE.....MORE.....PAPER SWAN!!!" Hand shoots up in triumphant glee, brandishing a paper swan of such beauty it becomes the new religious symbol to the devout followers of "He who can Origami!"

            "Oh wow, that's a really neat trick! Let me try" Drops swan and steps on it while walking off. Much sadness was had that day, the day the Origami died.

            I just really hope for their sake that the last one they learn is something manageable with regard to always needing to do it and fitting into society. :P

    • CuppaMatt
      +2

      Doing so pushes another random skill out of your ability list.

      Skills include: - Being able to pump blood around your body - Being able to see - Being able to walk - etc

    • leetmoaf
      +1

      You can only master one skill at a time, can only master a skill once, and must unlearn it for a new skill.

    • Palmento
      +1

      You have to trade your arms and legs for the ability.

  • VenStroto90
    +6

    I can run faster than the speed of sound.

    • kvn
      +9

      When you are running faster than the speed of sound, you lose your sense of direction.

    • sea
      +3

      But time speeds up relative to the speed you are running, so it just becomes normal.

    • Havok
      +2

      You now also reach orgasm faster than the speed of sound

    • Roundcat
      +2

      But you can't turn or stop suddenly.

    • leetmoaf
      +2

      Only 6 m/s faster than the speed of sound through a vacuum.

    • Chinky
      +1

      You can only do it barefoot and your feet are not particularly durable in anyway.

    • Wockle
      +1

      It releases a terribly loud sound wave when you do so...

  • Wenjarich
    +5

    I sometimes wish I had the ability to let someone briefly feel what I'm feeling in a given moment, like when I'm sick, sad, angry, happy etc (things that are hard to explain). It would so easily remove those moments where people don't get where the other is coming from. Like instead of saying, "No you don't understand, it's like this.......", I could just say, "here let me show you." and then take their hand or something. This would also be amazing for when I go to the doctor. "So, what might be the problem?" I reach out and take their hand, "Here let me show you."

    • Polygon
      +3

      You can only do this when you are exactly 2 kilometers away from the intended recipient.

      • Wenjarich
        +1

        Haha that could lead to some rather weird situations...

        "Just hold on, I have to show you what I mean." Runs off in the opposite direction. "HEY WHAT THE HELL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

        Or..

        "Seriously Wenjarich, you need to stop making me know what your condition is on your way to my office. Last time I was consulting a patient and almost threw up on them!"

    • Cadeezy
      +3

      Your power is forced empathy. Every time you use they take a memory of yours with them. completely at random. Could be harmless or your most embarrassing moment.

      • Wenjarich
        +4

        ooohhh....I like this, would actually have some story potential but I would add that they literally take the memory as in, you no longer have it. It's usually only a couple of minutes of memory but that can add up if you do it enough times. Plus you have no idea what you have lost seeing as you can't remember it anymore.

        • Cadeezy
          +2

          That works! You give and they take. Also, the amount of time in the memory seems unnecessary just what the actual experience is. So if it's vital to who you are as a person it's lost forever.

          • Wenjarich
            +3

            I feel I may be writing a short story soon :) haven't written in a while but I like this premise. Thanks :)

            • Cadeezy
              +1

              I request an executive producer credit if it cones to fruition.

            • Wenjarich (edited 3 years ago)
              +2
              @Cadeezy -

              Haha, sure, however, it'll be a the most prestigious credit you'll get. Your Snapzu name written in a word document saved inmy dropbox file for short stories :P

            • Cadeezy
              +2
              @Wenjarich -

              I get one copy of the story and you've got a deal.

            • Wenjarich
              +2
              @Cadeezy -

              Haha sure, I'll send you a copy should I write it :P

            • Cadeezy
              +1
              @Wenjarich -

              As exec producer I'm gonna need your final draft by noon pst or we're going to have to pull funding.

  • Roundcat
    +5

    I wish to throw fireballs.

    • Havok
      +3

      The fireballs are very mild at best. You're throwing slightly warm air everywhere.

      • Chinky
        +1

        That's like a smell free fart.

        • Havok
          +2

          Best superpower ever

    • i208khonsu
      +2

      Fireballs come out of your butt.

    • TheDylantula
      +2

      You have no control over when a fireball is thrown. Like muscle spasms, but deadly.

      • sea
        +2

        To add to this, you aren't fire-proof, so you get burned every time you throw a fireball, which is random. Wow, that is depressingly shitty.

    • VenStroto90
      +1

      Only when you're being threatened by someone.

    • Dattix
      +1

      Yoshi won't ever leave you alone. (Fireballs? Yum!)

    • CuppaMatt
      +1

      You can now throw fireballs.

      You are not however immune to fire, heat or the pain from these things.

      Enjoy your ruined hands!

    • Idontmindturtle
      +1

      You are granted the ability to wish to have fireballs... In fact... It was in you the entire time... You just had to say it out loud.

      You can not however, throw fireballs.

    • Palmento
      +1

      Your skin excretes extremely flammable oil every time you use the ability.

  • KingMe
    +5

    It's cliche, but I've always wanted to have a deep conversation with my cat.

    • Palmento
      +7

      Your cat is racist. Literally Hitler incarnate.

    • sea
      +2

      The conversation is literally deep. Center of the earth deep. You die.

    • CuppaMatt
      +1

      You can now speak with your cat, your cat however only speaks in latin..... and is a huge dick

  • Arzeus (edited 3 years ago)
    +5

    I wish I had the ability to summon and control creatures from hell and the underworld.

    • leetmoaf
      +5

      All of them are vicious, but none of them are larger than a Warhammer 40,000 figurine, with power proportionate to their size.

    • Ryvaeus
      +4

      You can only summon creatures from hell and the underworld named "Chad."

    • JohnDough99999
      +2

      You can't control their bowels. When you summon them they always arrive in your bed, in your clean clothes, or in your pocket depending on the type summoned. Demons and creatures from hell are always pooping demonic demon poops that are acid based and stink beyond anything you can imagine. They have no power to vaporize their own other world incontinence and refuse to wear diapers.

    • sea
      +2

      As soon as they come up from the underworld, they lose whatever magic was allowing them to function while being dead. Have fun controlling a bunch of lifeless corpses.

  • zaywolfe
    +4

    The ability to redirect kinetic energy.

    • BigFoote
      +2

      You have no control over eat direction you redirect it to.

    • KingMe
      +1

      In order to move energy your body must take on a portion causing spastic movement.

  • cannon
    +4

    Create objects with my mind using local materials.

    • sirlag
      +3

      The object will act like the off brand, such as megablocks.

    • sea
      +2

      Anything you create disappears after 24 hours.

  • Polygon (edited 3 years ago)
    +3

    To control time, to be able to speed it up, or slow it down, even slow it to a halt, and to go forwards or backwards in time.

    • sea
      +3

      You move with time, therefor destroying any purpose the power could have had

      • Polygon
        +2

        That just really messed with my head, I'm have a hard time trying to work it out.

    • Havok
      +2

      To do this, you have to squeeze your nuts with a wrench

      • Polygon
        +1

        Well, does it have to be a hard squeeze or can it be a loving wrench squeeze?

        • Havok
          +1

          Ellen Pao holds the wrench

  • Aticusdarklord
    +3

    I can transform into any pokemon existent and turn back into a human

    • ballpointcarrot
      +2

      If someone has all 8 badges, you must obey them without question.

      You can be caught, and can be stored in a pokeball.

      You can't use any HMs.

      • Aticusdarklord
        +2

        then I will be at the entrance of the 8th gym of my region and stop anyone from entering it bwahahahaha [rubs hands maniacally ]

  • Cadeezy
    +3

    A silver tongue -- easy mode ;)

    • sea
      +5

      You literally have a tongue made of silver, with no additional powers.

      • Cadeezy
        +1

        Welp avg human tongue weighs 2 to 3 lbs. according to google. Price of silver is an avg. of 15.05 an ounce. Average it out to 2.5 pounds and I'm left with 602 USD. I imagine a life with a loud ass wife working in some text based customer service field.

        • sea
          +1

          You, uh, really thought that one through. Props.

    • leetmoaf
      +2

      You have a silver tongue, but your voice cannot raise itself above a quiet whisper.

      • Cadeezy
        +1

        I begin carrying a rather large stick...

  • Sladix
    +2

    I can make other people's sphincter release by insistently looking at them

    • JohnDough99999
      +1

      It always releases towards you. The release is not complete until some lands on you.

      • Sladix (edited 3 years ago)
        +1

        Hahahahahaha this thread concept is so fun xD

  • oystein
    +2

    I want to be able to read minds (without sitting in a wheelchair).

    • leetmoaf
      +2

      You can't toggle the ability on or off, and others can read your mind.

  • frohawk
    +2

    I am normal human in every way, except when I eat toliet paper, I poop gold.

    • ballpointcarrot
      +2

      The gold "produced" has razor-sharp edges.

    • jmcs
      +1

      You'll also poop all your blood if you eat toilet paper.

      • frohawk
        +2

        okay, so I'll need hooked up to my butt, but okay.

  • Zorgon
    +2

    The power to projectile vomit on command

    • Wenjarich
      +1

      Isn't this what alcohol is for. It is at least for me, it just happens to be a delayed command. Insert alcohol = Command to vomit in a few hours time. :P

    • sea
      +1

      I think you took care of both parts the question

      • Zorgon
        +2

        Another day of playing the game on my own terms.

        Question: 0 Zorgon: 1

    • CuppaMatt
      +1

      You also have a HIGHLY increased sense of taste

      • Zorgon
        +1

        Counter that with the ability to only projectile vomit still cold ice cream