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What's the dumbest way you have ever hurt yourself?

7 years ago by drank with 57 comments

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Conversation 13 comments by 7 users
  • Nospine
    +13

    When I was about 8 years old we were at a family reunion having lunch and whatnot. After a while me and my cousins decided that it would be a good idea to run around an area where the place we were having lunch at was building a small stage for some random event that they were preparing.

    It was at that point that while we played tag, I noticed a small piece of wood with a rusty and rather thick nail sticking out of it... And what do I do? I intentionally step on it of course! I had to go get checked because the thing was rusty and I could've gotten tetanus from it, but luckily enough I was already vaccinated.

    It was dumb, really, really dumb.

    • darkbum
      +10

      I...I dont understand. Doesnt evolution prohibit you from doing that?

      • Nospine
        +3

        I guess it does, and I have no idea what went through my little mind at the time but it seems that I just wanted to step on it. It was like an impulse that suddenly came to me and told me that I HAD to step on it (maybe it was an indirect way of seeking attention?). Also my shoes were screwed :P

        Sometimes there's no way to know why you do certain things, you just do them, albeit, this wasn't something that I should've done.

      • meowmixxed
        +1

        With modern medicine, the dumb kids make it.

        JK JK Nospine that sounds like something I'd do.

    • GeniusIComeAnon
      +4

      I did something similarly weird as a child. I was standing at the edge of a swimming pool (note that this was before I knew how to swim), and I had a thought "I wonder how far off the edge I can stand without falling in?" For some reason it didn't occur to me that the only way to know the limit was to go past it and fall in...which I did. And that's the story of the second of six times I almost drown.

      • eikonoklastes
        +4

        Come on man, you can't hint at it and then let us sit there. How did you manage to get yourself into that situation six times?

        • GeniusIComeAnon
          +2

          Well, the first time I was two and fell into the pool somehow. Nobody apparently knows why :P

          The second time was as stated above!

          The third time I was maybe 7 and was pulled into the ocean by a large wave, but my mom managed to grab me.

          The fourth time I was 8 and decided to swim in a very dangerous river with my cousin of the same age. I got pulled under by an undercurrent and was actually stuck under the longest for this one. Somehow my cousin managed to pull me up and then we just kept swimming.

          The fifth time was similar to the third. I was grabbed by a wave while out a little ways. A stranger actually saved me that time.

          The sixth and most recent time happened when I was 15. This happened at the beach. There was a cave that me and my older sister wanted to check out. To get to it you have to cross a river that actually flows away from the ocean. There were fairly large waves that day, so you had to choose when to cross carefully. I made it fine, but my sister decided to carry all of our stuff across and moved slowly. She was swept by a wave and without a second thought I jumped in after her. She held on tight to our stuff, and I kept grabbing her to push her above water(making me go under). I called for help to the lifeguard, but he couldn't hear me. There was only a coast on the other side of the river, we were up against a wall of rock. After being dragged along for maybe a hundred feet, we managed to catch on a rock and from there get back to the coast. We walked away with only some deep scratches that we didn't even notice until we got back to our people. The scary thing was that after about a hundred yards, the coast ends and it's just rock on both sides.

          • eikonoklastes
            +2

            Holy crap, and you still swim? You are a much braver person than me. I'd be scared shitless of water at that point.

            • GeniusIComeAnon
              +2

              I actually swim for one-three hours a day! In fact, I just got back from swimming :P

            • eikonoklastes
              +2
              @GeniusIComeAnon -

              Alright then, we either got us an olympic swimmer here, or an industrial diver, or a treasure hunter on his 200kk yacht. Pearl/clam diver seems too far fetched. I hope it's all three at the same time. The mystery is enough to make your life look hella interesting.

              I'll just go and play some games now, to distract from my mundane life...

            • GeniusIComeAnon
              +1
              @eikonoklastes -

              Haha! I can certainly say my life has been interesting. I think it just comes from wanting to try everything. If you ever want to, it's pretty easy to try new things, but you have to know how to look. I can tell you I have swam competitively, I have dug a pearl out of a fresh clam, and I have hunted for interesting things in water with variable success. No industrial diving I'm afraid, though!

    • Retzilience
      +4

      That's not even dumb, just plain daft.

      Cute, tho.

    • Qukatt
      +2

      I've stood on a rusty nail once, ruined a brand new pair of white sneakers :D my mum was not happy

  • Retzilience
    +9

    Oh oh oh!

    I have one of those!

    Once, as an inconsequential young gentlemen I was fumbling things on my hands, a glass of water, my phone, ipod, some pens... and I decided to charge my iPod.

    Plugged the charger on the outlet and tried to connect the iPod to it, but I was carrying way too much shit, it was impossible.

    So, what you do? You start to grab things with your mouth to free your hands if you a dumbass.

    So, I started doing the hands/mouth tetris, which ended up with me biting the end of the plugged in charger with my teeth.

    A jolt of electricity shocked my skull and I fell backwards. Intense pain all over my body. Tears, twitches and drooling ensued.

    Darwin award runner up, almost.

    • darkbum
      +3

      I tetris plugs in my mouth all the time, probably did it today. Thanks for the cautionary tale, I'll try putting my iPod in my mouth next time. Or, you know, grow some extra arms.

  • drunkenninja
    +7

    A long while back when I was a kid I used to really enjoy my BMX and jumping ramps that we would build to see who goes the furthest, highest, you know for competitive reasons. One day my beloved BMX got stolen and my pop feeling sorry for me purchased me a mountain bike, you know... 21 gears, disk brakes, bells and whistles and shocks all over the place. We went out and built one of the biggest, coolest ramps ever and while I did consider the bike unfit for jumping these style of ramps I went ahead anyway.

    The impact knocked my arms back, and turned me into a missile (I wasn't wearing a helmet). I ended up striking the ground face first, puncturing my lip with a loose rock that embedded itself into my upper gum area. When I came to I felt blood running down my chin and onto my shirt, thinking it was my broken nose I plugged it it by squeezing the sides with my hand and sat there trying to figure out what to do next. My face was bruised but nothing serious, I had a swelling bruise on my forehead that was very numb to the touch and generally my stomach hurt as I landed right on the steering wheel with no hands to break my fall. A few short minutes later a lady ran out with a bowl of water and some cloth to help clean me up while we waited for the ambulance to come.

    As she was running towards me she saw my face and the blood gushing out of my upper lip, I think she got nauseated by what was I'm sure a very bloody scene and fell mere feet from me spilling the bowl of water at my feet. She quickly recovered and used what was left in the bowl to clean my face a little and told me that I didn't need to plug my nose as it wasn't the think I was bleeding from. Anyway, the ambulance came, I ended up going to the emergency room to get the rock removed and received some stitches to fix up my upper lip. To this day I can see the scar, but I must say they did an excellent job with it because you really can barely notice it unless you know where to look.

    Anyway, that was the dumbest way I hurt myself, and I'm not too proud of it.

    • kevino025
      +2

      I bet your granddad felt horrible for buying it. But there was no way for him to know the difference. And after something like that there is no way to explain things. Did you not feel the blood still pouring after you plugged your nose?

  • idlethreat
    +6

    Found a stapler in the junk drawer that I thought I lost. Went to press down on it to see if it had any staples in it. Nothing came out.

    Opened it up wide, took with both hands, and gave it a good hard squeeze, just in case a staple was hung up...

    Discovered that it did have staples after one went into my thumb.

    So, yeah. What made it worse was having to go to the emergency room with the wife for a tetanus shot. Her and the nurse had a nice giggle. Nurse re-rwapped my thumb.

  • canuck
    +5

    I can't even remember the amount of times I smashed my toe into the side of a wall corner. I fractured it at least twice. It really sucks and I can't seem to ever learn my lesson.

    • HauntedCryme
      +2

      Are we talking the same corner, or different ones?

    • Rhumanity
      +1

      sounds like someone needs to invest in toe reduction surgery... ;)

    • meowmixxed
      +1

      Sounds like my coffee table issue. I live in a small apartment, so space is limited. My husband has a desk for his PC so I kind of wander between the table, couch, and coffee table with my laptop. I ALWAYS hit my flipping toe or foot on our coffee table. Every time. And every time I threaten to throw it away and buy a lighter one at ikea that will just scoot out of the way of my effing toes.

  • madjo
    +3

    jumped through the glass pane of the front door of my parents house. In my defense, I was panicking at the time, over nothing in hindsight, but still.

    • [Deleted Profile]

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  • CrazyDiamond
    +3

    I broke both my arms trying to blow up a party balloon while riding a bicycle. Turns out as the balloon gets bigger, it becomes harder to see in front of you.

  • meowmixxed
    +2

    I was trying to be fancy and made some DIY sugar wax to wax my arms.

    It felt pretty cool on the surface, so I smeared that shit on my arm. Still fine. I guess the outside layers cooled from the air, but I had basically put a lava balloon of sugar wax on my arm. Still unaware of the impending pain, I slapped some fabric on it, and SMOOSHED it down. And then I realized what was happening, and of course, ripped the fabric off. So much skin gone. I did that in January and I have a nasty scar now.

  • Nate
    +2

    I once tried to drink hot tea directly from a thermal on my way to class in the cold.

    I had second degree burns on my lip and down my chin. I didn't make it to class, but I did get Vicodin!

  • PushPull
    +2

    Does the dumbest way that I ALMOST hurt myself count?

    I was running an angle grinder with a wire brush cleaning off some rust from a truck part I was working on. I was working the brush into a tight spot with a few studs sticking out, the wire brush caught and sent the grinder back into my torso. Fortunately, the brush part got tangled up into my shirt so fast that it ripped out of my hand and I let go of the trigger. I ended up with what amounted to a slight rug burn from my shirt being sucked into the grinder so fast. I had to cut the shirt out of the damn thing.

    Thing of it was, I knew, just KNEW, that I was going into that spot at a bad angle, and I carried on anyways. I won't ignore that little voice ever again.

  • Cyrax
    +2

    Probably one of the dumber ways was when I was opening a can of chef boyardee and had it cut my hand. Although that is probably tied for the time I was whittling a stick and took a chunk off my knee. I didn't even realize it happened until I noticed blood on the blade, it must have cut underneath the nerves.

  • Targetq2
    +2

    With no context, I am going to answer with a different kind of dumb.

    When I was ~19 I helped my parents move a fridge. A friend of theirs had an old fridge they were getting rid of and my dad wanted it for a basement beer/other fridge. We borrowed my uncles beater truck (we didn't have far to go) and went to grab it. The truck was noisy, small (ranger?) and almost rusted out. Also, the tail gate didn't come down. We get to the friends place, grab the fridge and bring it up the tiny hill to the driveway, and even managed to load the fridge over the tailgate into the back of the truck. My dad with his short little arms could get the fridge to the front of the bed, so I think it would be a good idea to climb over the tailgate. I put my weight on my left leg, put my right foot over the tailgate, and go to pull myself up. SNAP. I broke the end of my femur.

    Not sure if that is the kind of answer you were looking for, but I thought it was a pretty stupid way to break a bone (especially the largest one in my body).

  • Xeno
    +2

    I was cleaning up my apartment, and I was holding one of those metal bike U-locks... I was barefoot and accidentally dropped it... fell right on my toe. Huuuuurrrrt like a bitch.

  • Qukatt (edited 7 years ago)
    +2

    Burning my elbow on a duck :D

    Oh and the time I high fives a cross beam on a children's rollercoaster and electrocuted myself. Felt like id been kicked in the hand by a horse.

    • PushPull
      +2

      Was the duck on fire?

      • picklefingers
        +3

        Any answer would just raise more questions.

      • Qukatt
        +2

        I was making crispy duck in the oven and since my oven at the time heated unevenly I went to take out the tray and turn it around but for some reason i took the tray out completely and i dunno, i was doing something and the whole tray and duck sort of spun around in my hand and the duck hit my other elbow and seared a chunk of my skin. hurt like balls.

        so i had a burned elbow and this scar where the tray also was pressed against my arm. what a circus that was.

        My ex though had a worse one; he was frying something in a pan and the pan slipped off the front of the cooker and instead of jumping back away from all the cooking oil and hot metal he went and caught the thing. Not by the handle either but by the actual pan. Then had to drop it on his foot cause it obviously friggan hurt to hold. Numpty.

  • manmachine
    +2

    I cut my finger on something and put a bandage soaked with iodine tincture on it (was the only disinfectant available). And left in on for a while. Got a nice chemical burn to accompany the cut.

  • Vitalbeat
    +2

    When i was probably 7 or 8 years old I was a really dumb kid. I am Asian and as irrelevant as that sounds it has everything to do with this because this story involves chopsticks. So basically I was a dumb kid running around the house without a care in the world. Except on this fateful day I had decided to do it with chopsticks in my mouth. Got hurt.

  • GeniusIComeAnon
    +2

    I was once in a friendly sparring match with someone, and was winning fairly well. She couldn't get very many good hits in, and I think she was about to give up. Until I spontaneously dislocated my ankle by walking in a circle. I still have no clue how it happened. I kind of took a misstep and suddenly I was on the ground and couldn't walk.

  • fizzl
    +2

    Just last week, I was working at my house. I had drank couple of beers. I have some demolition scraps next to my shed. I also had a huge pile of twigs and stuff of that nature in my lower yard. Leftovers from felling trees last autumn. I decided to burn the pile of twigs. To burn relatively young twigs you need a good fire going on first, so I took some of the demolition scrap with me as a starter.

    The bank to the lower yard was overgrown with some hay and other plants. I took my scythe with me to whack them down. So, dragging a bunch of old wood paneling with nails sticking to every which direction, wielding my scythe in other hand, I decide to walk down the really steep to the lower yard. It had recently rained, so the bank was really muddy and slippery.

    Miraculously, I got down without slipping I piled the dry tinder on the side of the almost 3 meter tall pile of twigs and lit it with some starter fluid. It roared to like 5 meter high flames in no time. I took my scythe and cut down some underbrush around the fire to prevent a forest fire. After I was happy with my work, I started climbing back up again.

    I was almost up when I slipped! Damn, hit my knee on a rock! I sat there for a minute cursing my bad luck.

    ...before realizing there were SO MANY WAYS ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE GONE WORSE THAN THAT!

    I have no idea how I avoid the Darwin award year after year.

    (Sorry about the shaggy dog story ;))

  • gabe2068
    +2

    I was at a ymca summer camp when I was about 9 or 10 as my mom worked at the y and got an insane discount. I was going on this big waterslide and this kid in front of me ran and grabbed the bar and swung down unto the slide. Looked cool and fun as shit. I tried and in turn successfully rammed my fucking head directly into the bar. I passed out and the lifeguard carried me out as I had a massive gash on the top of my scalp. I had to get a series of staples. Fucked me up for a while lol.

  • Pantera
    +2

    I was spotting 2x12 boards along a building where we were working. The front end loader was a tractor and when I went to pull a board off the back of it got lodged in between the other boards and the tire. The loader was moving and it kicked the board up in the air and it landed on my head.

  • MePLUR
    +2

    Dislocated my thumb closing a car door.

  • TempusThales
    +1

    Fell and fractured my arm. Before I went to the hospital I rode my bike to a friend's house and fell off, fracturing it harder.

    • kevino025
      +1

      You didnt know something was wrong or did you had a feeling something was very wrong and decided to ignore it?

      • TempusThales
        +1

        It hurt a lot but I live around an hour from the nearest hospital so I couldn't go that day.

  • ZombiePharmer
    +1

    When I was around 7 years old, I started playing with a children's garden rake while on a swing. The rake was made to be like a real one, just child-sized, so it had a metal rake head and wooden handle. As I was swinging back and forth, I was pushing the mulch under the swing with the rake. On a forward swing, the rake dug into the ground and stuck, driving the handle right into my ground and tearing my scrotum.

    Cue awkward doctor's visit and then awkward day at school the next day when I had to explain why I couldn't participate in the annual walk from the elementary school to the local community college for activities. I had to sit silently all day by myself with the teacher in my classroom and keep myself occupied.

  • InfernoFire
    +1

    I tripped over concrete and smashed open my knee as a kid. Required thirty stitches cause my skin doesn't hold stitches.

  • kevino025
    +1

    We used to have one of those plastic knifes. The ones that were supposed to stay sharp longer and be better at cutting stuff. I used to use it a lot, and sometimes I would try it on my skin to see if it would cut me. I would actually apply a bit of pressure. And not once did it cut me. One night I was cutting something with it and ran it across my arm, since it became somewhat of a habit at that point, when my mom got freaked. I calmly told here that there was no way I was gonna cut myself since Ive done it many times before, I then tried again to cut my finger to show her that it was fine, and that's when it happened. I sliced my fingertip. It was rather deep, considering the amount of pressure I applied. I quickly drop the knife. My mom scare shitless(most likely at her son, for doing something so stupid) quickly rushed to see how badly I had cut myself. I still look at my index finger and see my fingerprint sliced in half and somewhat displaced.