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Your username is now the title of a new blockbuster movie. What's the storyline?

7 years ago by canuck with 67 comments

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  • idlethreat
    +20

    idlethreat

    A gripping story of a lazy man, threatening people over the internet, shaking his clenched fists at the television, shuffling out of his basement and yelling at the weather, and otherwise making making no impact on the universe. Starring Ben Affleck.

    • Wenjarich
      +6

      Wow that is amazing! It's like you had it prepared for the eventuality of this post. Even had a relevant link ready haha

    • wondaROY
      +2

      Perfect name for a movie lol

  • 0r4n9e
    +10

    The gripping story of a young fruit's realisation of what happens after death.

  • Grassgrows
    +10

    I dont think it is going to be very interesting to be honest...

  • VoyagerXyX (edited 7 years ago)
    +9

    Voyager: XyX

    The first manned mission to Jupiter takes a ragtag team of engineers to the nightmarish planets atmosphere to establish a low Jupiter orbit station for refueling cargo ships en route to the icy outer limits of the solar system. What they discover changes humanity forever.

  • NotWearingPants
    +9

    Whatever it is, it's got at least a 'R' rating.

    • idlethreat
      +2

      Upvoting you since I'm currently not in pants.

  • DrunkOldMan
    +8
     Fade in,  as a young man, with a bright promising future, going through life, shitty jobs and more than a couple of wives, struggling at life. As he gets older he gets to a point where zero shits are given anymore, alcohol takes over and then the fun begins!! Watch as the DrunkOldMan is yelling at kids to get off the lawn, then realizes in a glimpse of sobriety that it's not his lawn or his house for that matter, hilarity ensues!! The comedy / drama movie of the year!!
    
  • spaceghoti
    +7

    SpaceGhoti

    I honestly can't figure out if it would be something like March of the Penguins or closer to The Meaning of Life. Having Morgan Freeman narrate would be awesome, but frankly I think the Python players offered more metaphysical truth.

    • Qukatt
      +2

      i was going to make a Space ghost/Ghoti joke but i'm not able to miss spell "dish" with that method of phonetics :/

      Space ghoti, Doti to doti?

      • spaceghoti
        +2

        SpaceDoti works for "space dish." :)

  • ballpointcarrot
    +7

    Ball Point Carrot :

    * An animated movie about a young, hip vegetable who leads a basketball team to victory. "Ain't no rule sayin' a carrot can't play!"

    * A coming-of-age story about a red-headed office worker who goes on a soul-searching journey.

  • Roundcat
    +7

    Roundcat

    Everyone's favorite non copyright infringing cat is back with idiot dog and virgin guy, as they travel to Paris. Hilarity ensues. Starring Bill Murry,

  • funhonestdude
    +7

    A heart warming romcom about a guy that just loves to have fun and tell the truth?

    • idlethreat (edited 7 years ago)
      +6

      Wife: sighs. Why can't all guys be like that?

      Asshole Husband played by idlethreat: because real men have testicles

  • BucksinSixxx
    +6

    The Milwaukee Bucks defeat the Miami Heat in 6 games in the 2013 NBA playoffs. Brandon Jennings is seen as a prophet and becomes ESPN's next big "analyst"

    • KingAztek
      +5

      He must still bow down to the mighty Woj though (yes I know he works at Yahoo)

  • ColonBowel
    +6

    Colin Powell develops ulcerative colitis and we see the progression of the disease from mild to colostomy.

  • genuineparts
    +5

    A organ smuggling ring is trying to get a heart to a patient, chased by the police they have to get there on time.

  • massani
    +4

    A space action-adventure about a badass bounty hunter who has daddy issues.

  • pseudopsynic
    +4

    The story of a special agent tasked with a mission to infiltrate a terrorist cult known as the Psynics who believe that no good exists in mankind.

  • Xeno
    +4

    Xeno the misunderstood Xenomorph. "I"m not as bad as them, I won't kill you I swear! RIPLEY NOOOO!"

  • Urbanknight4
    +3

    A crazy historian straps on knight's armor and runs around stopping crime a la Don Quixote. This movie happens to have three unnecessary sequels.

  • Harold
    +3

    The story of an old man who lived on my street and waved to schoolchildren on their way to school everyday before the big C hit and he was no longer able to wave.

  • AlchemiA (edited 7 years ago)
    +3

    AlchemiA -- prognostication in time is prolepsis in space, which is a kind-of deja-view all over the place -- flash-forward to the edge of forever at first-light where the beginning expands into the deep-dark reaches of the night -- sHe is the Poet who writes from that serendipitous-connection and sHe's mastered the word-image-rhythms, the forms and rituals of sound and sight, and can therefore incite these emotives/feelings/thoughts in the reader, making the whirld's turn into a synergy of observer/observed which becomes tessellated interactively with the thoughts that you heard -- she throws a pebble into the stream and watches the ripples fill the unbounded cavity of your brain, where these ripples ripple in many reflections over and over again -- thus she writes her insights with a lyrical pen that babbles like a brook of words that meander down the page while unfettered glistening fish jump from line to line seeking the source of their urgent drive home --

    -- have you heard of the expression, fish-heads? -- the Doctor of days gone-by was steeped in Alchemy 'n Astrology 'n Poetic lore and would wear a floppy hat resembling the shape of a fish-head -- the principle behind this apparel was to indicate 'wholeness' and 'completion' -- Jung's individuation -- it symbolizes the sign of Pisces conjoined with Aries: Pisces rules the feet and Aries the head, and so represents that the wearer has mastered all of the stages of Arkane path of initiation and that when the fish-floppy-hat is worn upon the head it signifys that all the Signs are symbiotically in the memories of her majestically mythic mind; sHe's merCuriously illuMentated...

    FADE IN

    a laptop

    illuminated letters

    complete with words

    black on white pixels

    scattered

    lines on a screen

    layered

    sentences vibrate cyclically;

    we see them in ourselves

    'story'

    until these things happen again.

    -enter- I break-up with you

    -> breaks give direction <-

    I break-down alone

    -back-space-

    with i n t e n t i o n

    both unknown and known -

    our home, a period,

    our motion, a verb

    an adjective

    shift-insert

    candles burn, wax wanes,

    drips down, sputtering;

    warm glow of screen

    quote

    it was devastating

    for our parents who wrote with the fire of war burned at both ends

    unquote

    “The way up and the way down are one and the same.” -- Heraclitus

    • DiamondDragon
      +1

      That's intense man. I might suggest adding some periods into your writing structure, but it's your prerogative.

  • desertjedi85
    +3

    After his ship crashed in the deserts of Tattooine, Darth Pooface must make his way to civilization while avoiding detection by the rebels.

    • RedditExodus
      +2

      But what's the significance of 85? Is that how many parts it has?

      • desertjedi85
        +4

        That's his jersey number in the Galactic Football League

      • ColonBowel
        +1

        He has a run in with Marty.

  • kabamman
    +3

    I am an immortal villain who can blow himself up on demand and my mission in life is to terrorize.

  • Nerdeiro
    +3

    During a Magic: The Gathering tournament, a group of socially awkward Nerds must investigate a series of deaths, all connected to the mythical Black Lotus card, while still struggling to reach the final round. Will they uncover the mystery ? Will they win the championship ? Learn the fate of this Nerds in this thrilling movies, full of fantasy, mystery and Magic.

  • Pink (edited 7 years ago)
    +3

    pink

    A gritty look into the life of an aspiring Victoria' Secret model living in the city, and trying to have it all while struggling to make ends meet. Drugs, sex, and eating disorders in this summer's epic drama, Pink.

    • idlethreat
      +2

      "Today I decided to splurge, live a little, you know? Life's too short. So, I gathered all of my room mates together and we split a pop tart. I know. Crazy, right?"

  • Odin
    +3

    Probably about Northern gods. I'd definitely watch that movie.

  • Gozzin
    +3

    A colony of humans land on a distant world and they must learn to get along with the natives, or die trying.