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What is the most disturbing thing you've woken up to?

About an hour ago I woke up next to a spider the size of a golf ball and freaked right out. Now I can't locate the spider and never want to go back in my bed let alone my bedroom. I'm actually in the fetal position rocking back and fourth as I type this and at the same time looking for a number to an exterminator that will probably come here and fumigate the whole place.

9 years ago by spacepopper with 26 comments

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  • junglman
    +7

    9/11. What a shitty morning.

    • Nelson
      +4

      I rememeber that day like it was yesterday. I was at school and all the teachers and students were in massive panic. Everyone thought it was the beginning of world war 3.

    • spacepopper
      +2

      I woke up 5 minutes before the 2nd tower was hit.

  • drunkenninja
    +6

    I was camping near a glacial river a few years back and one of the geniuses with us left the cooler wide open after a night of drinkin. Woke up to a black bear rummaging through our stuff and nearly shit my pants. I screamed "bear" and most of us just started making a shitload of noise and it took off. To this day I am the "closed container nazi" when we go, fuck waking up to a hungry bear.

  • grandtheftsoul
    +5

    I came home drunk one night and decided to make myself a pizza. You all know the rest of this story, this has happened many times to many idiots.

  • zyery
    +4

    My dog's balls in my face. Decided right there and then that hes too big to sleep in my bed.

  • razerxs
    +4

    Being unable to move my arms and legs. I sleep in the worst positions.

  • idlethreat
    +4

    Wow, we certainly have a lot of spiders in our houses

    1. I woke up once swatting at a spider in my sleep. It ended up biting me in the face, a little below my left eye. I really didn't notice the bit until later in the day, when the area got swollen. My face numbed up, and I think that I got a staph infection from it. Took weeks for it to heal and I now have a little divot in my left cheek where the bite was. Terrible experience. Would not recommend.

    2. Another time I was sleeping in on a Sunday morning. Rolled over on the remote control, which cheerfully flipped on the TV and cranked it at full volume. I distinctly recall waking up roughly 2 feet above the bed, madly thrashing out at whatever was making the loud noises. After landing back on the bed, I scooted down to the foot of the bed, got wrapped up in the covers, tripped, and brained myself against the wall. By then I was awake. Unwrapped myself from the covers, figured out the remote, threw it in the floor, and went back to sleep

    3. I once dreamed the phone was ringing off the hook. It was sitting across the room. Since it was a dream, I braced my feet against the mattress, kicked off into the air, and hit the phone with my head. The phone landed in the floor. Since I didn't have arms, I stood over it, screaming "hello?!", and waiting for a response. It wasn't until the second time I yelled "hello" that I realized it wasn't a dream, and I was standing, yelling at the phone in the floor... And my head really hurt a lot.

    Eh, all I have at the moment. I'm pretty dangerous when I wake up.

    • drunkenninja
      +3

      Dude, you shouldn't sleep. You may hurt someone :D

    • spacepopper
      +2

      Do you know the kind of spider that bit you? Were you able to locate it after you awoke?

  • ObiWanShinobi
    +3

    Some girl giving a blowjob to a guy in the same tent as me at camp. I was sick with a fever and so, so sheltered, so I never figured out what they were doing till later. Eugh.

  • AdelleChattre (edited 9 years ago)
    +3

    Election results, Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2000.

    Either that, or less immediately concerning, towering pillars of flame in the bedroom.

  • junglman
    +3

    The spider thing happened to me a while back, I can't recall declaring war on it though!

  • Crator (edited 9 years ago)
    +2

    I've woken up to sleep paralysis quite a number of times in my life. The scariest time and I remember it very well; I woke up and couldn't move my body at all except my head. I heard what I can only describe as demonic sounding chants. And around me I saw all these imps of various dark colours dancing around. They were really creepy looking, all wrinkly and such. I struggled to get up and as soon as my body broke away and moved it all disappeared. This was my first incident, I was about 12 at the time.

    I only found out what sleep paralysis was years later. Almost any time I sleep on my back it happens. I got more stories if anyone is interested. Something different appears nearly every time.

  • SirMiguelOrtiz
    +1

    My little brother bouncing on top of me...pissed me off and ruined my morning.