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What is your biggest regret in life thus far?

I would probably have to say my lack of drive in my youth. I didn't care about school cause I thought it was too easy and why would I need to know this stuff anyway. Than I had the opportunity to go to a great college and I was like no thank you.

So than what started a series of applying for jobs that continued to be above my level of expertise. So I set out a 10 year plan of working jobs whether it be 3 years of working industrial, 3 years working in a retail, 3 years of working in graphics all entry level for low paying jobs until finally I felt I had enough management and expertise to start working in jobs I wanted in the first place

I am 28 now and I am making about 70k base and an extra 10-17 commission in a office building in the big city of Dallas. It has been very hard work to get to where I am without college.

I regret the way I had to do it.

8 years ago by ClarkKent with 34 comments

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  • neptunetitan
    +14

    Not spending more time with my son when he was little. He turns 17 next month, and now he doesn't want to spend time with me. He'd rather hang with friends or just be alone playing video games in his room. When he was a boy he looked up to me and wanted to talk and hang out with me. But I generally was too self-involved to give him enough quality time. And I can never get that time back. Ever.

    • Improbability (edited 8 years ago)
      +9

      Don't beat yourself up too much. I would submit to you that most 17 year old boys (and maybe girls) would rather spend time with their friends than with their parents. Just keep trying and don't give up. No parent is perfect, but at least you're trying. And that's leaps and bounds better than the parents some kids have.

      Edit: Also remember this: it's never too late (until you're dead). He'll come around as he gets old and needs you for your life experience or advice or whatever.

      • RedditExodus
        +6

        Yeah and maybe you could get into video games with him?

        Either way I know I didn't appreciate home until I left.

        • Improbability
          +3

          There's an idea. Don't let him win, though.

          • RedditExodus
            +1

            Yeah, remind him that you brought him into this [virtual] world and you can take him out of it.

    • edgeofadream
      +2

      He's a typical teen. We all go through a time like that where parents just seem like a nuisance. You may have lost the time with him when he was a kid, but don't give up on him. When he grows up things will change again.

    • JonSnow
      +2

      Dude, he's 17, not 40. It's not too late. Go spend time with your son! Wether it's playing sports, or playing video games, or watching movies or something, or just talking, you can do it. He might not want to at first, but he'll get around if you keep trying once in a while.

  • Qukatt
    +12

    I regret letting a boy dictate where i went to study. I wanted to go far afield to get my degree but the boy i liked was going to the city close to home. they didn't offer the degree i wanted so i went to college and did a shit qualification with shit teachers and shit people who weren't actually interested in studying most of the time.

    I wish I had just gone away and been happy in myself to do that.

    On the other hand if i hadn't met the people i did at college I wouldn't have gone on to meet my husband either so I dunno. Swings and roundabouts.

    • ishana
      +5

      My regret is similar to yours but in my story I would be the boy who let his gf stay instead of looking for her future...

      We broke up and she disappeared and last I heard she was forced into marriage by her mother for financial reasons... I messed up someone's life I loved and still love, It hurts so much when I think about it.

  • spacepopper
    +11

    First off, 80k+ a year is a very respectable wage, and many would wish they had that type of job/life security. I will also add that many people that do go to college/university go heavily into depth and even with the education they receive, the sheer crushing weight of all that borrowed money is enough to cause some serious mental problems and the inability to think straight when it comes to picking the right career. Many of my friends have high school diplomas and are doing very well, while others that spent years in college and racked up tens of thousands in student loans are struggling. You don't know how well you did because you haven't lived another man's life to compare, so honestly, you should feel proud of what you accomplished.

    I regret I didn't ask out the love of my life when I had the chance, we were close. She ended up going for a 2 month trip to Barcelona and found her husband there. To this day this hurts bad.

    • yarnnoodles
      +7

      I'd like to echo what you just said about college. Going to college is my biggest regret. I graduated in 2008, at the beginning of the most recent economic downfall, couldn't get a job, and have ended up staying at my retail job I had while I was in school. I'm 20k in the hole, and I will probably never pay it off. There's so many people much farther in debt from school than I am, I don't know how they manage.

  • Guilhem
    +6

    Never studied (BC and Wotlk raiding looked so much more attractive back then...). Yeah I got my engineering master and landed a decent job, but I could have gotten a better school and most likely a better job in the field I wanted.

  • Nerdbiscuit
    +6

    Copying this answer from a similar thread. I regret spending as much time as I do on the computer. Now I'm skinny, unathletic, and hunchbacked. Working on fixing that stuff, but it's a long process and it could've been avoided if I just took care of my posture and spent more time outside in my teen years.

    • FurtWigglepants
      +3

      Run. That's the best way to get into shape until you need to actually work on upper body stuff, which is the easy part.

      • Nerdbiscuit
        +2

        Yup, been running and lifting. The hard part for me is eating enough to supplement those, though. :P

    • frohawk
      +1

      You know, if you get into a bit of carpentry, you could probably set up a leg workout routine you can do while at a desk.

  • spammusbi
    +6

    Getting out of the Army. I wasn't in it to go off to war or anything like that, I just had nowhere to go and nothing to do when I was younger. I was in for a little over 4 years and I thought it was a waste of time. Seeing people leave and saying how happy they were and all that made me think that life was much better being a civilian.

    After I got out I realized how much the military really takes care of you. It was so easy to makes friends, I never had to worry about rent, food, or wondering where my next paycheck was going to come from. I wish I would have stayed in, made it to 20 years and retired at 38.

  • PushPull
    +4

    Not being more money-aware and saving in earnest for retirement early on. I've got a lot of ground to make up before I can retire comfortably.

  • massani
    +4

    Not sticking with golf... I was really good when I was younger and would win an occasional trophy, but then like most things in my life, I get interested in something else and drop everything else completely. I played a couple weeks ago for the first time in like 10 years and absolutely loved it. I'm going to start playing again.

  • Coffeenut
    +3

    Quitting high school at 18 (I didn't even go for the first day) but do I actually miss it entirely? Yeah I kinda do but if it wasn't for me quitting I'd probably wouldn't have learned what I learned from GNU/Linux systems and now at 23 - I like the way my life has shaped with that semi regret

  • snakepaws
    +3

    A one-two punch. I took 2 years of Cisco Networking (not generic) in high school. College and certification-level courses. The school was supposed to pay for the certification and tell us where to test. Well, that fell through, I was 17-18, so I didn't take the initiative to find out and procure the money for testing myself. I could try now, but this was over 10 years ago at this point. I'd have to start from scratch.

    Same time-frame, not putting forth effort to go to college. Don't "take a year off," kids. Life doesn't wait.

    • zants (edited 8 years ago)
      +3

      Weirdly enough, I also took a Cisco Networking class in high school (never met someone else on the internet that took one). That was the start of my regrets. That, along with a dual-enrollment college class I took were terrible ideas - the workload put me in a very deep depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies that I'm yet to recover from 6 years later. I definitely recommend just sticking to normal classes in high school, get by with the easiest classes you can if you don't want to burn out before you even get to college.

      My biggest regret, overall, is college. I want to go against what you said and instead say "definitely do take at least a year off", but unless you do so by deferring your college then you probably will have no scholarships (even by deferring I'm not sure if that might also cause you to lose your scholarships). Probably in 10+ years, when/if I have been graduated for some time, I'll say it might be worth it (ignoring the debt, of course), but at this very moment it's hands down the biggest regret in my life. Waking up after every night with nightmares of not turning in homework, failing tests, or not going to class... and those are just the days that I actually have some time to sleep. College is such a huge test of your constitution, I cannot believe how many all nighters I've needed to do to pass classes (as of last year I averaged 4 fucking days per week). Having PTSD-like anxiety and wanting to take your life all because of school seems absurd (and surprisingly [at least to me], from conversations with other students, this isn't a mentality held just by the depressed or anxious [though more frequent for them], very "normal" students are bombarded by these thoughts a lot as well).

      • snakepaws
        +2

        I guess it depends on what aspects you're looking at. I feel like I missed a lot of social milestones and experiences by not going to college. I also feel like, at this point, the idea of doing papers, homework, and bullshit projects - all while working a full-time job, just isn't really something I look forward to in terms of going back. Whereas, straight out of high school, that's just what I'd been doing, day in, day out, for most of my life.

        I definitely don't disagree though. I feel like I would have burned myself out if I'd gone to college. By senior year of HS, I was just "done." The classes I took that year were either required, or stuff I actually wanted to take. I don't regret any of that. I needed the break, but the idea of going back never appealed to me. The idea of having a degree and having the possibility to open up opportunities does, but realistically, a degree doesn't promise you anything, and all you will definitely have at the end of your college career is a mountain of debt.

        I'm very torn on the college thing, so excuse my "double-think" about it. :)

        When did you graduate high school? 2003-2004ish? I've never heard of anyone taking Cisco classes in high school either, outside of the people that were in my classes. I don't know how widespread that program was, or how long they did it.

  • Priest
    +1

    Not finding a girl when I was in my younger years. Now I am in my thirties and so used to being single I doubt I will ever stop.

    • ClarkKent
      +3

      You never know, you could run into that perfect girl!

  • amphetamine
    +1

    My biggest regret is not doing maintenance on my electroconvulsive therapy. It had helped my depression so much but it was embarrassing (it's a last resort procedure which tells a lot about the state I was in). I realize now that my mental health is more important than the stigma and taboo surrounding the procedure and I threw out the biggest progression I had in my fight against depression.

  • RoMS
    +1

    I shouldn't have played with that anti-mosquito spray.

    • ClarkKent
      +1

      This seems like we need more backstory. :)

      • RoMS
        +1

        It would need so many throwaway though. x3

  • twoBits
    +1

    My biggest regret is not going to a University for school. Instead I choose to go to DeVry in Chicago for a BS degree. Even though I went to DeVry I have earned a pretty good living. I was making about 115,000 at my last job. Recently took a cut to move out of state. I compete for the same jobs as everyone else. So, I guess I do OK. The problem I have is my degree was more business oriented. I really wish I had the math, algorithms and compiles classes other CS students received. That's the one thing that really gets to me. I hate it. UGH

    • Pumpernickel
      +2

      Is there any chance that Khan Academy could help you?

      • twoBits
        +1

        That's a good idea. I have thought about it, but at the moment life is a bit too hectic with 3 young girls.

  • ImNotASchizo
    +1

    I'm properbly not as old as the most of you guys. But my biggest regret is being too obsessed with having a girlfriend or trying to make moves on girls when i was younger. It fucked up my school. Girls are not worth getting bad grates for and i wish i new that then.

  • frohawk
    0

    You say that like you're old.

    Hm, my biggest regret right now is all that peppermint tea I drank yesterday.