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If you could go back to your younger self and tell them one thing, what would you say?

If I was able to travel back in time, and saw my younger self, I would tell them that everything would be alright. That it's okay to be attracted to the same gender - to have feelings for another guy. Many people do. It's life and it shouldn't make you feel less than human. So grow a pair, be yourself, and enjoy your teenage years. You'll get depressed and feel alone - so reach out. You have friends and family who care a lot about you and wouldn't dare turn you away if you told them. Don't throw them to the sidelines, because in 10 years, you will be a much happier person.

8 years ago by massani with 96 comments

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Conversation 8 comments by 6 users
  • idlethreat (edited 8 years ago)
    +20

    "don't date your sister's friends. No matter what". Would have saved me 20 years of heartache.

    Come to think of it. If I didn't go through that utter shitstorm when I was a kid, the "me" I am today would be a completely different man.

    Unsure if I would be better or worse, just different.

    I take it back. I would say nothing. I might be covered in scars and a grumpy cuss, but I own all of it.

    • Zerei
      +6

      Come to think of it. If I didn't go through that utter shitstorm when I was a kid, the "me" I am today would be a completely different man.

      Ah! The famous "Nonidentity Problem".

      If a person's existence is unavoidably flawed, then the agent's only alternatives to bringing that person into the flawed existence are to bring no one into existence at all or to bring a different person – a nonidentical but better off person – into existence in place of the person whose existence is flawed.

      -http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/nonidentity-problem/

      • idlethreat
        +2

        Thanks for the link, /u/Zerei! Wasn't aware of the existence of that particular thing. I think I'll spend a little time reading up on it this weekend.

        • SevenTales
          +3

          If you want, you could also read up on modal realism, which is a philosophical concept that proposes that all possible worlds are as real as this one. Meaning, in short, that the you that did not go through with it exists, is real, just not accessible to you. :D

        • Zerei
          +1

          It is a very interesting read that makes you ask yourself about a lot of things we take for granted. Have fun!

    • WittyUsername
      +6

      Way to live my friend, no regrets!

    • GeniusIComeAnon
      +3

      That's what I always think, too. Sure, I suffered for a couple years and almost died, but those events made me me. I might go back five years to warn myself about an illness I had for awhile, though.

    • Wenjarich
      +2

      I completely agree with this analysis however, in my case, telling myself to get the correct medication for my ADD, that only got diagnosed last year (age 25), at an earlier stage would have resulted in me feeling like a real functioning human much earlier on and I can only imagine how much better off I would have been. In the months since I was medicated properly, I have lost a lot of weight, found a bunch of things I am passionate about and actually persued them. I've become a 1000x more productive, I have a much better time remembering things, become a lot more confident around other people and I don't deal with anxiety nearly as much any more. If I had all that from earlier on I often wonder where I would be today.

Conversation 8 comments by 5 users
  • NerfYoda
    +7

    I guess I'd tell myself three things:

    Put the fucking pizza down and get on the bike. It's going to take a lot of work later to fix what you're doing to yourself right now.

    Ask him out and stop worrying about what people will say about "teh gay".

    Keep doing what you do. Eventually all that messing around with video games and computers while slogging through tech support is going to lead to an awesome career. It gets better!

    Damnit, now I want to find a time machine and do this.

    • Autumnal
      +4

      but.................pizza

    • zerozechs
      +2

      The virtue of being an adult is getting to do any damn thing you want, as long as you're willing to accept the consequences. When I figured that out (at about 19), life got a lot easier. Being an adult means you don't have to apologize to anyone, or feel sorry for doing things your own way.

    • gtwy
      +2

      Did you lose the weight or are you still struggling to put the pizza down? Not trying to be a dick, just saying, there is always today to change who you are.

      • NerfYoda
        +2

        Oh no it's all good, and you're 100% correct. I'm down 60lbs now and am at that part where the last 20 are the hardest. On the other hand I can hold a plank position for 1:30 and am doing my first 5k next week. Feels good, man. :) I guess the hard part now is trying to get that last 20 and keep it all off.

        • gtwy (edited 8 years ago)
          +2

          I just started 6 days ago. I need to lose 84lb. I haven't had a chance to weigh myself yet today but as of yesterday i was down 13 already. Like you said, wish I had formed better habits. But I've finally started a real diet. The time will go by either way. And I'll be a lot happier in a few months.

        • racerxonclar
          +2

          Your name either suggests that Master Yoda needs to be reduced or restricted in some way, which I find heresy of the greatest caliber... or it means you are a foam Yoda that is shot out of a brightly colored plastic gun and then lost forever in a subspace pocket under the couch, which I find amusing.

          Either way, congrats on the physical fitness. Something I'm fighting as well. Coke is the bane of my life... water, y u no taste better :(

          • NerfYoda
            +1

            Thanks! I think cutting soda and booze from my diet was the hardest part, but it's almost scary how the weight flies off after you do it. Keep it up! You got this. :)

  • TheEnglishMajor
    +13

    Depression does not automatically establish you as one of the good guys.

    • Kayzaks
      +3

      This is a very interesting point of view!

      Never realized that even real a**holes could suffer from a depression as well and still invoke sympathy in someone who'd hate them otherwise. Interesting.

      • TheEnglishMajor
        +1

        Exactly! I simultaneously had myself convinced that feeling awful all the time made me a martyr who could do no wrong, AND I allowed far too many people to use their instability as a way to control me and my interactions with them.

        Bad things happen to good people, but they also happen to bad people. Just because we're having a bad time, doesn't mean we get a pass on everything -- friends have to be interested in healthy and balanced relationships.

        • FrootLoops
          +1

          This is indeed very interesting. But we have to ask how we are, what we are. Not just our actions form our personality, our conditions do so as well (probably even more). So it's not just "Bad things happen to bad people as well". I am not saying you are wrong i am just pointing this out.

  • drunkenninja
    +13

    Don't spend all your money on that fancy record player.

    • zombocom
      +1

      No way! I'd DEFINITELY have young zombocom buy several! Also-- young zombocom-- please keep ALL your records, old zombocom doesn't care if you need gas to get to your crappy part-time job!

  • Zeus
    +12

    Stock up on Moxes and Black Lotuses.

  • BucksinSixxx
    +12

    Don't go to college just because you feel you have to. Tech school is a viable option that can make you just as much money without paying so much.

    • massani
      +7

      I wish I would have learned this earlier considering I'm not even planning on working a day in my major.

  • spaceghoti
    +11

    Here are some numbers. Make sure you buy a Powerball ticket on July 1, 1995 with these numbers. You won't regret it.

    • GeniusIComeAnon
      +2

      So...wouldn't the numbers be different since you changed time? Then 20 year old you would think future you is just a troll.

      • spaceghoti
        +2

        Why would the numbers be different? I had no influence over anything to do with the organization or how they picked their numbers.

        Sure, the younger me might think the future me was crazy but spending a dollar on a tip? I don't think I would have turned it down.

        • GeniusIComeAnon
          +2

          I'm pretty sure the numbers are randomized, so just through the impact of you being there for a minute, the younger you acting and thinking different, everyone younger you comes into contact with making slightly different movements and thinking slightly different thoughts, and everyone those people come into contact with, etc. etc. I'm basing the thought that the numbers would be different on the butterfly effect.

          I definitely wouldn't pass up the opportunity either, but I would be skeptical that it would work.

          • spaceghoti
            +4

            Since the OP's post doesn't posit that anything would necessarily change other than us talking to our younger selves, I don't think it's necessary to assume that anything we do to alter our past is automatically doomed to failure. Yes, maybe it stirs up the quantum foam sufficiently to randomize the numbers differently but we don't know that quantum physics works that way since we have no practical experience with time travel. It's a fun thought experiment, not a physics test. ;)

            • GeniusIComeAnon
              +2

              Yeah, I know, just thought I'd mess with the thought experiment :P

      • Nateilus
        +1

        According to the doctrine of Back to the Future, No the number wouldn't change. As we are all well aware that is how Biff made his fortune.

        • GeniusIComeAnon
          +1

          I always had a problem with that actually! I was even thinking about it as I wrote my last comment.

    • gtwy
      +1

      So basically you wouldn't have every had to grow up. Awful idea. Maybe, here's the powerball numbers for your 35th birthday. I'd much rather be able to enjoy the money with the hard work and knowledge I've acquired as an adult.

      • spaceghoti
        +2

        Do you have any idea how old I was in 1995?

        • gtwy
          +1

          Fair enough! Well... How old were you?

          • spaceghoti
            +4

            Mid-twenties. Holding down two jobs, helping out friends and family and contemplating selling my body to make ends meet. I can only dream of the number of people I could have helped then had I won the jackpot.

  • CDefense7
    +10

    Study harder and drink less in college.

  • FrootLoops
    +9

    You will still be alone 20 years from now.

    • massani
      +3

      It's okay we can be alone together! :D

      • Wenjarich (edited 8 years ago)
        +2

        But if you are going to be alone together, you may as well be alone together in the same house, saves money. Then if younare going to be alone together in the same house, you'll need someone to look out for you if you're in a hospital or something, someone who has the right to make decisions for you should something happen, you may as well get documentation stating that each of you has acknowledged each other as an important person in your life, I hear there's status between two people that does all this. And while you are alone together in the same, house, keeping an eye on each others well being and you find you each want to still be parents, why not adopt/have a child together and be single parents together, in the same house with the same child?

  • RoMS
    +5

    Don't change anything.

  • FunkyCatJr
    +4

    Buy all the gold you can afford. Sell it in 2011.

  • callmefish
    +4

    "I don't care how 'soo fucking hot, though,man' she looks in those spandex, do NOT stick your dick in that crazy!"

  • Victarion (edited 8 years ago)
    +3

    Buy bitcoin and sell them the second they reach 1000 dollars.

  • dandylion84
    +3

    To go see a doctor and tell them you're having anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts.

    I suffered with depression and anxiety for years before I finally managed to get help. I wish I had gotten help while I was still in high school.

  • achensherd (edited 8 years ago)
    +3

    I'd travel back to 20-year-old me, tell him to not go after [girl I was with for 5 1/2 years] and not major in [liberal arts degree that I wasted about the same amount of time on], and then beat the living crap out of him so he'd bear enough bruises and scars to vividly remember the experience and know it wasn't a dream.

    Edit: Oh crap, "one thing". Okay, in that case...

    Hey you. Yeah, you. I'm you in a little over a decade from now, and I'm here to impart some wisdom on you. That girl you're into right now? Stop that. You'll regret the years if you get with her. Okay, that's it. Well, there's something else, but I didn't make the rules for this encounter, so you're just going to have to learn about the other thing on your own. Oh, but I do have this for you... (cracks knuckles)

  • ReverendEntity
    +3

    Keep practicing the piano.

    • Urgz
      +1

      I kept practicing, but the wrong things (popular songs rather than techniques that could have gotten me way further than I am right now). Now it's hard to find free time to practice.

  • Kalysta
    +2

    Go into computer science, not veterinary medicine.

  • Kayzaks
    +2

    You have Aspergers, that's why everything seems rather strange.

    Would have helped knowing that early on.

    • double2
      +1

      Haha, wow. When did you get diagnosed? What lead to it?

      • Kayzaks (edited 8 years ago)
        +2

        This year (age 27) so still very new to this. Due to stress and a lack of better explanation, they were concerned I had some sort of PTSD. Got sent to a psychiatric day clinic for 2 months, where they quickly realized it's not PTSD, but Aspergers. Spend the rest of my time there learning ways to deal with it better.

        This has helped me alot. Not the clinic, but just knowing what causes these high stress levels. Would have been more helpful knowing this years ago :P

  • racerxonclar
    +2

    This is actually such a difficult question to answer... because changing one thing in the past could change other things. If it had to be one thing, I'd go back 15 years to my 12yo self and say:

    Your parents are wrong. About what's right and wrong, how they treat each other, how they treat you, and who you are. You're not an awful person; you try harder to do the right thing and to care about those around you than a lot of people. Yes, you're smart, and yes, you're capable of a lot, but no, that doesn't mean you're perfect nor should you be expected to be perfect. Mistakes happen, things will fuck up, that doesn't make you less of a person. Aim for perfection, but accept 90%. You'll still be 30% higher than most people you'll bump into...and your confidence will be in your ability to succeed... not in your success. That's important, because you're name is Racer, so life is going to hate you, a lot. Things will go wrong when there's no way they should, and despite that, you'll stay strong for a long time, because you're a stubborn and determined person, but unless you learn where to put your confidence, you will eventually break, and life really gets hard then.

    Oh, and for fuck's sake, actually go for Molly or Brittiney and fuck their brains out instead of being the awkward little shit that let everything go by him. You'll regret it. A lot.

  • defttt
    +2

    To me, sometime after I invested in $8.00 of bitcoin (around 1000 at the time, I don't remember how many I had):

    Don't format that hard drive, and you'll be rich one day.

    • Polygon
      +1

      "Hello, and welcome to.... Format That Hard Drive! The only show where you can become bitcoin rich, or format it all!"

  • MrRogers
    +2

    I'd tell myself to consider an internship while in college.

    When I was in college, I was really all about partying and making money to party. I ended up landing a really sweet gig in real estate, making more than I should have. It had very little to do with what I was studying, but it afforded me a lifestyle that I enjoyed at the time. Then 2008 happened, and I got thrust into a job market that didn't need my work experience, and I had to play some serious catch-up to get where I needed to be.

    No real ground-shaking advice for myself, overall I am very happy with how my life is turning out. However, I do think if I had just been a bit more focused on developing my skills and not worried about being able to throw a bomb-ass house party, I probably would be closer to my long term goals right now.

  • uSansSnoo
    +2

    I'd smack me in the face with a text book and tell me to drop out of university and start coding.

  • meowmixxed
    +2

    "You're bisexual. Stop listening to everything mom says. She's wrong a lot. You have value. It's okay to be yourself. Keep going."