The fact that I will never be a kid again, and that I have experienced all of that once and forever and even if I lived to a 1000 years I will still never again experience that youthful upbringing and those incredible first discoveries and experiences. My biggest fear is that I will one day lose those memories and end up being a husk of the person I was only to grow old and wither away like a flower past it's bloom -- existing only because I'm not programmed to die just yet.
You are not your body, your body is the vehicle you drive. I don't mind the fact that my vehicle is getting on in terms of mileage and has some squeaks and rattles that it didn't have before. Who knows? Maybe one day my vehicle will be regarded as a classic!
The dark, or more specifically shadows in the dark and dark windows at night. I have moderate anxiety, and severe paranoia that developed alongside my depression. Unfortunately, couple that with a love of horror games and creepy stories and I've pretty much psyched myself out severely before I realized my interests were causing lasting damage. For those of you who have played SCP-087, that was the notable trauma for me. It took months to stop seeing that white face in dark windows.
You would think playing scary video games would desensitize you to a point where you wouldn't be scared of dark shadows. I guess it had the opposite effect!
Heights, anymore, use to climb ladders, scaffolding, ride roller coasters, did roofing but now I'm like a little girl when it comes to doing anything where my dam feet ain't on mother earth, haha.
Everything is tainted since having kids, there's a bunch of movies I can't watch anymore, there's activities I can no longer stomach, There's paranoid behaviours I sometimes realise i might slip into.
Suddenly stairs and the edges of furniture and simple things like letting my kids out into the garden are scarey things because they are so clumsy and we live next to a violent neighbour who i'm terrified might just come raging one day and i can't make my kids scared as i am of everything and yet get them to understand that when i call them inside they have to come ASAP with no fuss or argument.
I want them to not run off down the street or around corners because i'm terrified of creeps and if i'm too far behind there's nothing I can do but i can't explain that accurately to them, i don't want them to be as scared as I get just walking down the street or going to the park.
The world hasn't "gotten worse", I've just become aware of it.
Exactly. Life's been enough of a struggle just to take care of myself and be happy. No way I'm taking on the responsibility of another person that can be permanently altered by what I do.
You'll get a lot of pressure about that choice but you stay strong! It's a valid choice, it's not selfish (no more than reasons to have them), it's not anyone else's business but you and your partner's in the end.
And if you ever changed your mind you're absolutely allowed to, don't let any of those bastards give you that smug git grin "oh ho i told you you would change your mind!" just punch them right in the face and stop associating with them.
The fear of war. When I was young the idea of another World War seemed exciting. The real cost of war is hidden behind the veil of romanticism all young people look through.
Getting hurt. When I was a kid getting hurt didn't even phase me. If I got hurt, I'd get better, and if not, I just got time out of school. Now getting hurt means missing work, filling out short term disability papers, the risk of being declined and having no income, along with the risk of permanent damage.
Funny. I'm the opposite. I was a cowardly little shit as a child. The smallest pokes and scrapes would make me whine, the smallest threats would make me cringe in fear. These days I lack proper pain tolerance as a result of my childhood but I don't fear pain anymore. It just is. and it's temporary.
When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was to become an adult, to grow up, and have this awesome life. Now, sometimes I just wish I was a kid who could play video games all day, not have to worry about making money, paying taxes, etc.
Yeh not a fan of flying and I've been in a little Cessna to a 747, last time I flew was to Hawaii from Chicago that was too nerve racking but I did make it.
Ever since growing tall I've become much more afraid of bridges. What once used to be high protective railing that stopped me from falling now feels like it isn't adequate at all anymore :(
I have seen families that have lost a child or children through accidents or illness. I fear everyday that I may not have the time I should have with each of my 4 kids. It is extremely scary and I never understood fear like I do now.
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The fact that I will never be a kid again, and that I have experienced all of that once and forever and even if I lived to a 1000 years I will still never again experience that youthful upbringing and those incredible first discoveries and experiences. My biggest fear is that I will one day lose those memories and end up being a husk of the person I was only to grow old and wither away like a flower past it's bloom -- existing only because I'm not programmed to die just yet.
Dam, that was spot on
Damn! Never thought about it like that. Scary now that I think about it.
The idea of doing one thing every day for the rest of my life...
Like brushing your teeth, lol!
I switched to toothpicks only. Works more or less the same. Definitely breaks up the monotony.
What about the trees, man!!
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Finances.
College tuition :/
The dark, or more specifically shadows in the dark and dark windows at night. I have moderate anxiety, and severe paranoia that developed alongside my depression. Unfortunately, couple that with a love of horror games and creepy stories and I've pretty much psyched myself out severely before I realized my interests were causing lasting damage. For those of you who have played SCP-087, that was the notable trauma for me. It took months to stop seeing that white face in dark windows.
You would think playing scary video games would desensitize you to a point where you wouldn't be scared of dark shadows. I guess it had the opposite effect!
Fear of falling down
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Politics. The power they wield and bend to their agendas... :(
Heights, anymore, use to climb ladders, scaffolding, ride roller coasters, did roofing but now I'm like a little girl when it comes to doing anything where my dam feet ain't on mother earth, haha.
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everything.
Everything is tainted since having kids, there's a bunch of movies I can't watch anymore, there's activities I can no longer stomach, There's paranoid behaviours I sometimes realise i might slip into.
Suddenly stairs and the edges of furniture and simple things like letting my kids out into the garden are scarey things because they are so clumsy and we live next to a violent neighbour who i'm terrified might just come raging one day and i can't make my kids scared as i am of everything and yet get them to understand that when i call them inside they have to come ASAP with no fuss or argument.
I want them to not run off down the street or around corners because i'm terrified of creeps and if i'm too far behind there's nothing I can do but i can't explain that accurately to them, i don't want them to be as scared as I get just walking down the street or going to the park.
The world hasn't "gotten worse", I've just become aware of it.
That is one of the many reasons I don't want kids.
Exactly. Life's been enough of a struggle just to take care of myself and be happy. No way I'm taking on the responsibility of another person that can be permanently altered by what I do.
You'll get a lot of pressure about that choice but you stay strong! It's a valid choice, it's not selfish (no more than reasons to have them), it's not anyone else's business but you and your partner's in the end.
And if you ever changed your mind you're absolutely allowed to, don't let any of those bastards give you that smug git grin "oh ho i told you you would change your mind!" just punch them right in the face and stop associating with them.
The fear of war. When I was young the idea of another World War seemed exciting. The real cost of war is hidden behind the veil of romanticism all young people look through.
Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris
Getting hurt. When I was a kid getting hurt didn't even phase me. If I got hurt, I'd get better, and if not, I just got time out of school. Now getting hurt means missing work, filling out short term disability papers, the risk of being declined and having no income, along with the risk of permanent damage.
Funny. I'm the opposite. I was a cowardly little shit as a child. The smallest pokes and scrapes would make me whine, the smallest threats would make me cringe in fear. These days I lack proper pain tolerance as a result of my childhood but I don't fear pain anymore. It just is. and it's temporary.
Adulthood.
When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was to become an adult, to grow up, and have this awesome life. Now, sometimes I just wish I was a kid who could play video games all day, not have to worry about making money, paying taxes, etc.
Death. It sucks. Currently watching everyone plop.
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Thee ocean. I do not believe that I respected the awesome power of the water, and how quickly a fun day at the beach can turn into a body recovery.
Climbing trees and on roofs. Driving at high speeds. Eating in random reataurants. Slalom, snowboarding, downhill MX, quad motocross...
Basically anything that has high risk factors of injury.
The Government.
Ever since growing tall I've become much more afraid of bridges. What once used to be high protective railing that stopped me from falling now feels like it isn't adequate at all anymore :(
The lies governments tell.
Dying.
I have seen families that have lost a child or children through accidents or illness. I fear everyday that I may not have the time I should have with each of my 4 kids. It is extremely scary and I never understood fear like I do now.
Heights, divorce, bank foreclosure, cars breaking down-all the cool adult worries.
Growing up, now that I'm an adult I am terrified to do it.