As someone who was recently cheated on, I am having a very hard time sympathizing with your logic. The only way their lives would be "ruined" is if their partners found out what they did. And if the cheaters are slimey enough, they'll talk their way out of it. (I wouldn't even consider the end of a relationship a ruined life, but that's just me).
No, the only way they "ruined their lives" was by cheating in the first place. The hack isn't what has the potential to cause issues, being on the list is what has the potential to cause issues.
The only part I sympathize for is the fact that their passwords and credit card info was leaked too.
1. It's possible, and even highly likely, that the person on the site never had an affair. Ashley Madison has been sued before for fake female profiles, and some are reporting as high as 95% of profiles being male. So I don't think it was that efficient at it's purpose.
2. There is a big difference between cheating and public humiliation. I am not saying cheating is okay, far from it. But the punishment here can destroy a life, a reputation, for far more than the relationship. Of course the cheater is not okay (in current society's moral compass, anyway), and the relationship is important to the SO, but it could lead to someone losing their job (think public persona) to their career and pension (think military). Being a scumbag isn't cool, but it's hardly worth that I'm sure.
3. You have to separate the two. Posting private informations on the public web should NEVER be a good thing, whatever you think of the people being doxed. THAT is illegal, and can definitely destroy lives.
So what I'm hearing here is that under NO circumstances, a cheater should be given a pass. Even if their spouse maliciously withholds affection, or is maybe handicapped beyond being able to be affectionate. Even if they have a previously agreed upon 'open' relationship.
Not saying that I condone cheating in it's purest sense, but there are going to be victims, legitimate victims, because someone couldn't imagine the reasons. The picture is much bigger, and we can not possibly fathom all the possible reasons.
yes, you heard correctly. unless it has been previously agreed upon, which you pointed out. then that is not cheating. cheating is lying and hurting your partner in one of the rawest ways possible. people who cheat are some of the lowest scums of the earth. i put them on the same level as any other con-artist with only their selfish personal gain in mind, able to justify their shitty behavior with weak excuses. if you lie to your partner in such an intimate way, and risk literally destroying both your own and their lives (as well as potentially any children) for your own emotional thrill ride, you're a piece of shit. period.
I was trying to have a rational debate with you at two points in this thread, but reading this, I get now that you are way too emotional to actually have a discussion on the subject, so I'll just stop there and I hope that it will get better for you.
Oh you with your logic and valid arguments
As someone who was recently cheated on, I am having a very hard time sympathizing with your logic. The only way their lives would be "ruined" is if their partners found out what they did. And if the cheaters are slimey enough, they'll talk their way out of it. (I wouldn't even consider the end of a relationship a ruined life, but that's just me).
No, the only way they "ruined their lives" was by cheating in the first place. The hack isn't what has the potential to cause issues, being on the list is what has the potential to cause issues.
The only part I sympathize for is the fact that their passwords and credit card info was leaked too.
1. It's possible, and even highly likely, that the person on the site never had an affair. Ashley Madison has been sued before for fake female profiles, and some are reporting as high as 95% of profiles being male. So I don't think it was that efficient at it's purpose.
2. There is a big difference between cheating and public humiliation. I am not saying cheating is okay, far from it. But the punishment here can destroy a life, a reputation, for far more than the relationship. Of course the cheater is not okay (in current society's moral compass, anyway), and the relationship is important to the SO, but it could lead to someone losing their job (think public persona) to their career and pension (think military). Being a scumbag isn't cool, but it's hardly worth that I'm sure.
3. You have to separate the two. Posting private informations on the public web should NEVER be a good thing, whatever you think of the people being doxed. THAT is illegal, and can definitely destroy lives.
So what I'm hearing here is that under NO circumstances, a cheater should be given a pass. Even if their spouse maliciously withholds affection, or is maybe handicapped beyond being able to be affectionate. Even if they have a previously agreed upon 'open' relationship.
Not saying that I condone cheating in it's purest sense, but there are going to be victims, legitimate victims, because someone couldn't imagine the reasons. The picture is much bigger, and we can not possibly fathom all the possible reasons.
That's not cheating. Cheating is only breaking the terms of your relationship. If they both agree with it, it's fine.
yes, you heard correctly. unless it has been previously agreed upon, which you pointed out. then that is not cheating. cheating is lying and hurting your partner in one of the rawest ways possible. people who cheat are some of the lowest scums of the earth. i put them on the same level as any other con-artist with only their selfish personal gain in mind, able to justify their shitty behavior with weak excuses. if you lie to your partner in such an intimate way, and risk literally destroying both your own and their lives (as well as potentially any children) for your own emotional thrill ride, you're a piece of shit. period.
I was trying to have a rational debate with you at two points in this thread, but reading this, I get now that you are way too emotional to actually have a discussion on the subject, so I'll just stop there and I hope that it will get better for you.