I think the last one is the only one that ever needs to be mentioned: "Ultimately, a reason shouldn't even be necessary." Women aren't simply baby-makers. Their lives should be limited neither as sperm receptacles nor incubators. They should have just as much choice on whether or not they become parents as men do -- I would argue that it's even more critical since they don't have the option to "fire and forget" as men can. Whether or not getting pregnant and having children fits into their life plans should be entirely up to them and no one else. They should not be pressured into it or raised with the assumption that this should be their primary purpose in life.
It carries consequences, of course. Nations with negative population like Japan are struggling with an aging population with too few children to take their place. But such consequences do not negate the importance of choice and autonomy. Either women are people with equal rights and privileges as men or they aren't, and if not then we need to own up to our misogyny rather than make excuses for it.
"It's your life to live, but how can you be fulfilled if you've never X?" There are so many things we could put in there. How can I be fulfilled as a man if I've never butchered a steer or built a cabin with my own two hands? These are experiences that I have neither the aptitude nor interest in partaking in. Can I really call myself a man if I've never gone to war and killed my enemy for my country? Yes, yes I can.
As a father of two I can't speak directly to the experience of pregnancy, but my ex-wife suffered a great deal with our two children to the degree that she had trouble keeping water down. I know of other women who suffered less, some who suffered far more (one friend of mine never fully recovered and is today partially disabled from the effects on her body) and a few for whom pregnancy is physical bliss. It's not a one-size-fits-all circumstance, it's a choice each woman needs to make for herself. The crime is that not every woman is given that choice, and sometimes not even allowed to know that it is a choice she can make.
It's so true that it applies to a lot of a aspects of life. It's something that was really getting under my skin at one point. I posted this in that asksnapzu thread about stereotypes but I think it's applicable here too. I wrote a song about his very thing called "shades of normal". Unfortunately I don't have a recording to share but the lyrics for the chorus and bridge go...
****
Isn't it great how we're all different
how boring if we were the same
as long as you do all the same things we do
stick to the rules of the game.
Because different is fine if you fit in the norm,
If you don't want to be the same
don't pick a different colour
Just pick a different shade.
I think the last one is the only one that ever needs to be mentioned: "Ultimately, a reason shouldn't even be necessary." Women aren't simply baby-makers. Their lives should be limited neither as sperm receptacles nor incubators. They should have just as much choice on whether or not they become parents as men do -- I would argue that it's even more critical since they don't have the option to "fire and forget" as men can. Whether or not getting pregnant and having children fits into their life plans should be entirely up to them and no one else. They should not be pressured into it or raised with the assumption that this should be their primary purpose in life.
It carries consequences, of course. Nations with negative population like Japan are struggling with an aging population with too few children to take their place. But such consequences do not negate the importance of choice and autonomy. Either women are people with equal rights and privileges as men or they aren't, and if not then we need to own up to our misogyny rather than make excuses for it.
I completely agree with this, I sometimes feel people live with the view of "it's your life to live but...."
(Obviously there are 'buts' that go against the law, but I'm refering to situations that don't harm anyone.)
"It's your life to live, but how can you be fulfilled if you've never X?" There are so many things we could put in there. How can I be fulfilled as a man if I've never butchered a steer or built a cabin with my own two hands? These are experiences that I have neither the aptitude nor interest in partaking in. Can I really call myself a man if I've never gone to war and killed my enemy for my country? Yes, yes I can.
As a father of two I can't speak directly to the experience of pregnancy, but my ex-wife suffered a great deal with our two children to the degree that she had trouble keeping water down. I know of other women who suffered less, some who suffered far more (one friend of mine never fully recovered and is today partially disabled from the effects on her body) and a few for whom pregnancy is physical bliss. It's not a one-size-fits-all circumstance, it's a choice each woman needs to make for herself. The crime is that not every woman is given that choice, and sometimes not even allowed to know that it is a choice she can make.
It's so true that it applies to a lot of a aspects of life. It's something that was really getting under my skin at one point. I posted this in that asksnapzu thread about stereotypes but I think it's applicable here too. I wrote a song about his very thing called "shades of normal". Unfortunately I don't have a recording to share but the lyrics for the chorus and bridge go...
****
Isn't it great how we're all different
how boring if we were the same
as long as you do all the same things we do
stick to the rules of the game.
Because different is fine if you fit in the norm,
If you don't want to be the same
don't pick a different colour
Just pick a different shade.
Well put spaceghoti. I do enjoy your approach to life.