What part of your childhood do you miss the most?
Real fun. Not being afraid to laugh. Learning something and getting good at it. Like baseball, I wasn't good at it, I was great. Being able to run from morning until bedtime without a break and doing it again the next day and the day after. No cares. I remember showing one girl my dick and by the end of summer they all had seen it. I had a lot of girlfriends too. Both my parents worked and I was free do anything all day and I did. It was a small town and everyone knew me, I couldn't get into trouble because I knew they were watching. I remember everyone in the neighborhood that I haven't been back to in 30 years. I'll read the county paper to keep up and reading about someone I knew as a kid had died makes me think back to the fun times. The times when it was always sunny and remember where I met that person. But then I'll see the name of someone who picked on me had passed away. Back in the depths of my mind I get a feeling of vengeance. Somehow I had now won. There's more but who gives a fuck...
The sense that the world was being run by responsible adults. I miss those days.....
Going down to where my father's people live, out in the country. It was always so much fun to run around with the dogs in the tobacco fields, go exploring in the woods, watch my granddaddy work on Mustangs, chit-chat with my German godmother.
I mean, I can still go visit any time, but it's not really the same when familial relations have changed so much that you're "the ex-wife's daughter" now, you know? :/
When I was about 10 or so, I got hit with a bad depression. Nothing really traumatic or anything happened, but I realized that I wasn't really happy with life anymore. I started seeing the bad side in everything. My grades dropped fast. I found myself alone a lot more. I stopped caring about things. I got to a point where I was either sad, or angry at myself for being sad. I remember having a suicide plan in like 4th grade, down to the date.
Since then, things have gotten a bit better. I didn't get better, but I learned to cope with always feeling empty. My hatred and anger turned into apathy. My huge swings down have started to kinda get smaller. I think what I have now is considered more bipolar disorder than major depression (I'll have little hits of mania, where I'm almost kinda glad to be alive), but I've kinda managed. It's destroyed a lot for me, but I've stopped caring.
I wish I could go back to those days were I was actually happy. Sure, I didn't have any real friends, and I got messed with a lot, but I remembered just being a lot more upbeat. It was the time before the sadness and bruising took over, and I could actually see the world in a positive light, rather than however I see it now.
The lack of adult responsibilities. I used to hate it when adults would say things like: "When you're older you'll realize how good you have it now". God they were right.
An non-outlawed Bill of Rights.