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+73
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What did you learn the hard way?

I'll start.

Take it slow when driving. Don't think just because you passed the driving exam and got your licence that you are actually good at driving. I found myself in unfamiliar territory, screwed up and caused a crash. It was completely avoidable if only I had a little more experience. For those who are wondering, I confused a one way sign with a turn left only sign and as I turned left the other guy in the lane to the left of me creamed me good.

3 years ago by aj0690 with 51 comments

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  • spacepopper
    +15

    Learning to manage money at a young age is important.

    • Bastou (edited 3 years ago)
      +6

      That is so true and somehow, decision makers believe it's not worth teaching in school. Or not worth giving much time, depending where you live.

    • Nate
      +4

      Shit, I'm 24 and am still terrible at managing my money. I'd be happy to find some free class or something somewhere.

      • PushPull (edited 3 years ago)
        +3

        I know it sounds like I'm pushing this, but I actually used it and paid for the product. I can vouch that YNAB is totally worth it, and makes you see exactly how budgeting your money works. Within 3 months of using it, I (well, we) went from paycheck to paycheck (as in , almost always having $10 or less available to us) to having over a thousand dollars in our checking account. Granted, that money had a purpose, every cent of it was allocated for future use, but that is EXACTLY the point.

        It was about $70 or so for the desktop app and Android app, but completely worth it!

        • conception
          +2

          Whenever I talk about YNAB I feel like I'm part of a cult or something, but it has totally transformed my financial life. It's magic. Like foam rolling. Just do it.

          • picklefingers
            0

            I keep trying to get into YNAB cause I hear so many success stories, but I just can't get it to work for me. I feel like I'd need to go through one of the courses that they offer. I don't know, I'm only 19 so it's not extremely important, but I still have enough expenses that it would be pretty helpful for me.

            • conception
              0

              It took me a few weeks, and then when I was at Starbucks or something, and I entered my purchase and I saw the budget value drop it clicked. I felt that money disappear and internalized it.

              Then I started notice my YNAB and bank account balances were different. I had a bunch of cash in my bank account, because of budgeting and saving for rainy day stuff, but YNAB was like, "don't spend this!" And then when a birthday party came up, I just bought a present and didn't think anything of it, as it was already budgeted at like $5 a month or whatever. Ditto on car registration, PSN, etc etc. Just takes out the brain power of worrying about that sort of stuff, but you do have to think about it and track it in the first place. Then it's automatic.

        • NstealthL
          +1

          Just started using YNAB again after doing my own budgeting for a while. I love being totally aware of my spending outflows and what's coming in. Just a simple program, only takes a little bit to more or less understand what you need to do. Plus, it's all fairly well organized and looks neat!

      • Bastou
        +3

        I believe there are many available resources online to teach the basics. I'm too lazy to look it up now though. Be careful that some aspects (taxes, laws, etc.) can vary a lot from country to country and from state/province/region to the next in the same country.

    • conception
      +2

      In a similar vein- in the end all that matters is the friends around you, not things or money. Put good people around you and finding happiness in life becomes tremendously easier.

    • folkrav
      +1

      Came here to say this. "Happy" to see I'm not the only one...

  • PushPull
    +13

    That sometimes, love isn't enough.

    • idlethreat
      +5

      Ooh. Ouch. Been there, my friend.

    • TwoADay
      +1

      Loyalty, not love, makes relationships work.

      • NameTaken
        +1

        Isn't it a bit of both of them? You would need love to stick with them and that is the basis.

        • TwoADay
          +3

          Loyalty will keep a relationship going when love falters.

          • NameTaken
            +2

            If love falters, then why would someone want to stay in a relationship?

            • TwoADay
              +2

              Because love will always falter; a person's emotions are fickle, especially when they're young.
              If you're the kind of person who will give up on a relationship on a whim, then you're not the kind of person who will ever have a long, meaningful relationship.

            • NameTaken
              +2
              @TwoADay -

              Ok, thanks for that useful advice!

    • Qukatt (edited 3 years ago)
      +1

      I always think of love like your fireplace. It may draw you to it's warmth initially and it will certainly help you through the cold dark winters of your relationship but it is not a foundation or the strong walls of trust. In your relationship you still need space, trust, some assurance of mutual support as well as compromise.

      In all that you shouldn't have a house without a fireplace; it's what keeps you warm.

      And like all analogies don't look too closely at it ;)

  • TwoADay
    +12

    You can't fix people.

    I had this girlfriend, once, who was a really neat, smart woman. Unfortunately, she struggled a lot with depression and alcohol abuse. Her father died of alcoholism-related disease when she was very young, and her step-father was abusive (he was in jail for sexually abusing her step-sister at the time I met her). She had a string of predictably shitty exes when her and I started going out.

    Despite the fact that she said she wanted to keep things casual, I decided that I was going to be the guy to turn her around. I was going to show her how a girl should be treated. As you would expect, she responded to my kindness with vitriol. As I tried to get closer, she tried to push me away. She would say and do things just to try and make me angry, and then she would walk out when I wouldn't. When she finally got tired of it an dumped me, I was devastated.

    It was only afterwards that I realized how arrogant I was to think that I could fix her life. How was I to know what was wrong with her, or how to fix it? She never asked for my help, but I assumed that I knew better.

    • Shimmer
      +1

      That's a tough lesson to learn. What happened to her?

  • RoMS
    +9

    Nobody's perfect. Everybody will fail something or somebody at some point, even the ones you thought exempt of it.

  • BucksinSixxx
    +8

    Just because you knew your shit in high school doesn't mean you'll know it in college. Actually study.

    • ComfortablyNumb
      +3

      Unfortunately I'm learn this right now. And it's quite difficult to learn how to REALLY study by yourself.

      • Matime (edited 3 years ago)
        +3

        Make some friends in your classes and ask if they want to study for upcoming quiz/test. For my Calc II final last semester I asked a friend if he wanted to study and we ended up studying around 4-5 hours in one sitting, it's A TON easier to stay focused. If you don't have friends try just asking people in your class if they're going to study and if you can study with them. You'll probably learn more studying with another person anyways since they can bring up things that you didn't think of reviewing that might be on the quiz/test/other.

  • Bastou (edited 3 years ago)
    +8

    You need a good amount of sleep and you shouldn't take on so many activities that your stress level skyrockets.

    I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks following a panic attack mis-diagnosed as a psychosis while I was in college. And I had to take medication for 6 months following my exit from the hospital.

    • imnotgoats
      +3

      I'm really bad at sleeping enough, I also take on a bunch of projects outside of work. To be fair about the latter, though, I only do extra curricular projects that are fun. I'm always doing a band / artwork / writing / programming etc. I generally focus on one thing for about 3 months then switch it up for a bit. I should really get more sleep though.

      • Bastou (edited 3 years ago)
        +2

        I still take on many projects, but now I know my limit, and I stay far from it!

        Just watch out for sleep deprivation.

        • wrmnthewoodwork
          +2

          I'm currently working two jobs with some extracurriculars on the weekend (mostly fun stuff like crafts). Coupled with a house renovation, future wedding (small, non-stressful), and bad work environments I'm running on an average of 4 hours sleep a day for the past 3 years.

          I'm desperately applying for jobs that will be able to give me a 40 hour work week and time to rest, because it's killing me.

  • achensherd
    +7

    It is a very bad idea to turn your upper body when you're carrying something very heavy. The spine doesn't like that kind of thing, apparently. I lucked out in that I didn't sustain any serious injuries, but the pain I still feel in my back at times ten years later reminds me how close I came.

    • thepanophobic
      +2

      Similarly, lift with your legs. I learned this the easy way (aka being told), but I met more then one person in college theater who evidently never heard this and hurt themselves tying to lift heavy set pieces.

    • Muffintop
      +2

      this one. Learn how to lift things without bending your back. If you won't be careful with your back, once back pain hits (and it will), the damage is done and it will be to late.

  • amphetamine
    +5

    It's better to be excited for the things that you don't know rather than be excited about what you do know. The mind can become so easily sheltered by the comfort of knowledge that we miss constant opportunity for intellectual growth. Having good judgment and having an open mind requires balance.

  • DCSpud
    +4

    It took me two instances of basically the same thing happening for me to "learn". I played roughly 10 straight hours of tennis with roughly 2 hours worth of breaks scattered about. Tore my rotator cuff and could barely lift things. A year later I did the exact same thing and tore it again, but it was worse than the first time. Happily I have yet to make that mistake again.

    • Muffintop
      +2

      sounds like you should try other sports instead ;)

      • DCSpud
        +2

        I started playing this new sport it's called college. It's pretty intense. It's probably not the best thing for my health, but I feel like it'll pay off in the end.

  • Qukatt
    +4

    that being a good and generally selfless, reliable person doesn't mean you should never do anything just to make yourself happy or to say no to people to get a break for yourself.

    If you give and give and never take opportunities to recharge and enjoy yourself then you will snap hard.

  • Gelidaer
    +4

    I learned that helmets are kinda necessary while biking and I got a sick scar to remind me.

  • Xeno
    +4

    "I love you" means different things to different people.

  • Matime
    +3

    Edibles vary in strength.

  • gremlin
    +3

    Don't get into verbal rental agreements.

    Seriously though, don't do it. I did it because I was naive/a bit desperate. What happened? Landlord tried to extort me for more money.

  • [Deleted Profile]

    [This comment was removed]

  • nicoscope (edited 3 years ago)
    +2

    1. You can lose all your material belongings within a few minutes.

    2. Never get emotionally attached to material things.

    3. Respect fire.

  • VoyagerXyX
    +2

    I didn't know what love is when I was in high school, and I didn't love the girls I dated back then.

    • Bastou (edited 3 years ago)
      +4

      I wanna know what love is...
      I want you to show me!

  • zhumoke
    +2

    Always wear a helmet. The circumstances I had learnt under could have been worse. But smacking your head on a tarmac road certainly wasn't an easy way to learn.

  • sweetHancakes
    +1

    Don't drive like the guys in Top Gear. I totaled my car trying to drift into a corner. Also, that you can't live to make other people happy because you don't want to disappoint them. It took me 8 years to finally change careers. Huge weight off the shoulders when you don't feel pressured to perform at a high level in something you don't enjoy.

  • InfernoFire
    +1

    That a cactus is more spikey then it looks