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How would you explain Earth to space aliens?

9 years ago by BucksinSixxx with 12 comments

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  • idlethreat
    +5

    Kurt Vonnegut said it best.

    “Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.

  • Zeus
    +5

    "You know how if you forget a container of food in the back of your fridge, months later you pull it out and open it up and there's this horrible stink and it's covered in black mold?

    "Yeah, that's us."

  • spaceghoti
    +4

    "Unclean! Unclean! Keep away!"

    • Xeno
      +3

      This reminds me of a little quibble in I think Mass Effect 2 where one of the aliens calls out Shepherd for having pride for a filthy planet.

  • Bastou
    +3

    It's a big ball of earth with water all over it covered by some flora and fauna and a disgusting parasite that slowly eats it away. Let's see if the parasite succeeds in destroying it completely or not.

    • Zeus
      +3

      And then you learn that the aliens are a race of space parasites and things get aaaawkwaaaarrddd.

  • Kalysta
    +3

    A planet that is home to a large number of tribes in a constant state of warfare over what they believe are precious resources. Who have little thought about destroying the same planet they are on. You're best not going there, those people are crazy.

    • BlankWindow
      +3

      Wouldn't this really be the only reason to branch from a single planet? More resources.

  • Sargeris
    +1

    The most advanced species here will cause unbelievable frustration. The rest will cause unbelievable fascination.

  • BlankWindow
    +1

    An itch that will eventually scratch itself.