Oh, so many things. This is probably why I don't see a lot of movies today. But a non-canonical list would be as follows:
- Insulting my intelligence. Lots of films take shortcuts for the sake of plot when it really wouldn't be that hard to get it right. The latest remake of Total Recall insulted my intelligence when they asserted that England was naturally free of the toxic air that infected the rest of the planet when France was deadly. No, sorry, weather patterns don't work that way.
- Important characters that are one-dimensional. I understand that not every character that appears in the film is going to have a rich, vibrant history driving their motivations with opportunities for growth. The lady selling tickets who gets blown past as the hero is in pursuit of the bad guy won't get the opportunity to demonstrate that she's a layered and complicated individual. But if your protagonist has only one expression the whole movie and never seems to have a good reason to learn anything or show anything more than one emotion then I'm going to get bored really fast. Same with villains: if the premise of the story is a struggle between good and evil or even just competing interests, the mustache-twirling villain just doesn't cut it. They need to be more than evil, they need to be credible or at least fun.
- Juvenile humor. I avoid most comedies these days because they rely on fart jokes more than anything else. Seth McFarlane sincerely disappointed me with his Million Ways To Die In The West because it seemed to rely too much on toilet humor.
- Plot holes. I know this can be hard to avoid, but if I can think of a solution to the problem presented on the spot in my chair I'm not likely to take the threat of the problem seriously. Likewise if the direction of the story makes no bloody sense. The reboot of Star Trek really got my goat that way when they had cadets in the Academy boarding starships and outranking other officers even though they hadn't even graduated yet. I will never forgive Abrams for that.
- Predictability. This one is questionable, because even if I can predict where the plot is going and how the characters are going to behave it's still possible to keep me entertained if they do it well or with sufficient originality. However, most movies fail to cross that threshold, they just stay in the rut and play out the scene where everybody knows what's going to happen. Orson Scott Card offered the best advice to avoid this that I've ever heard: think of your character's first reaction and throw it out. Take the second reaction and put it on a shelf for later. Take the third reaction and use that.
- Bad acting. Even the best-written plot can't save a movie from a bad actor. There are far, far too many highly paid actors whose only advantage seems to be the way they look or talk. Sometimes not even that, they're just riding the hype. For such actors I will skip the movie if I know they're going to play a central character.
Oh, so many things. This is probably why I don't see a lot of movies today. But a non-canonical list would be as follows:
- Insulting my intelligence. Lots of films take shortcuts for the sake of plot when it really wouldn't be that hard to get it right. The latest remake of Total Recall insulted my intelligence when they asserted that England was naturally free of the toxic air that infected the rest of the planet when France was deadly. No, sorry, weather patterns don't work that way.
- Important characters that are one-dimensional. I understand that not every character that appears in the film is going to have a rich, vibrant history driving their motivations with opportunities for growth. The lady selling tickets who gets blown past as the hero is in pursuit of the bad guy won't get the opportunity to demonstrate that she's a layered and complicated individual. But if your protagonist has only one expression the whole movie and never seems to have a good reason to learn anything or show anything more than one emotion then I'm going to get bored really fast. Same with villains: if the premise of the story is a struggle between good and evil or even just competing interests, the mustache-twirling villain just doesn't cut it. They need to be more than evil, they need to be credible or at least fun.
- Juvenile humor. I avoid most comedies these days because they rely on fart jokes more than anything else. Seth McFarlane sincerely disappointed me with his Million Ways To Die In The West because it seemed to rely too much on toilet humor.
- Plot holes. I know this can be hard to avoid, but if I can think of a solution to the problem presented on the spot in my chair I'm not likely to take the threat of the problem seriously. Likewise if the direction of the story makes no bloody sense. The reboot of Star Trek really got my goat that way when they had cadets in the Academy boarding starships and outranking other officers even though they hadn't even graduated yet. I will never forgive Abrams for that.
- Predictability. This one is questionable, because even if I can predict where the plot is going and how the characters are going to behave it's still possible to keep me entertained if they do it well or with sufficient originality. However, most movies fail to cross that threshold, they just stay in the rut and play out the scene where everybody knows what's going to happen. Orson Scott Card offered the best advice to avoid this that I've ever heard: think of your character's first reaction and throw it out. Take the second reaction and put it on a shelf for later. Take the third reaction and use that.
- Bad acting. Even the best-written plot can't save a movie from a bad actor. There are far, far too many highly paid actors whose only advantage seems to be the way they look or talk. Sometimes not even that, they're just riding the hype. For such actors I will skip the movie if I know they're going to play a central character.
And so on....
Yeah, but the Mila Kunis tie in was golden......
I barely know who that is, let alone what the tie in was.
when he spoke Indian and they were chiding him for not wanting to take drugs, he said "Mila Kunis" which translated to "Fine!" in the subtitles.
She is pretty, and popular with many because she is down to earth, is a gamer and isn't all caught up in the Hollywood BS...
...Okay. I don't remember that scene, but I may have dozed off at that point.
I just watched it the other day and didn't remember it either. I had to find the youtube clip to figure it out.
Of course now I cant find the goddam clip.