8 years ago
11
My life as a ‘sex object’
In her teens, strangers flashed her on the subway, teachers asked her for hugs and boys made jokes about her breasts. Should she laugh off a lifetime of objectification – or get angry? By Jessica Valenti.
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http://www.theguardian.com
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I'm trying to relate to this, but sadly, I have not been chased as a sex object. I suppose I would hate it after a while.
I think I would hate it immediately if a stranger secretly ejaculated on me on public transport. That's an awful experience that I never want to have.
That said, all of our sad reality is that we are all (in varying degrees) more-or-less both targets and victims of abuse as well as perpetrators thereof :(
And we are mostly... callously unaware?... of the abuse we perpetrate but we are acutely aware of abuses against us as grave, obvious injustices. Life is difficult. Everyone's traits are both a blessing and a curse and we don't all get to publish books about it. But if you are attractive you are far more likely to have those kinds of doors opened. So this account is not tragic in the Elephant man/carnival freak scale of things even though it is a terrible, fucked-up thing to live with and be confronted with at a young age...
Don't know what to say next... in the words of Forest Gump I guess "that's all I have to say about that"...
I don't want to 'blame' the victim, but I feel like if I were put in her shoes I would have moved to a place with a lower population density a long time ago.
She shouldn't have to, but...
That is messed up. Just another facet of this f***ed up world we live in. Kudos to her for acknowledging it. Best to be face the truth rather than just bend to the demands of deranged persons, regardless of the fact that they are the majority.
What's even more fucked up are the number of people who levy hate and threats against her because she acknowledges it. There's an entire movement suggesting that feminists need to shut up, that the things she talks about aren't real problems, how women like her should be raped and "social justice warriors" hate freedom.
Sexual attraction is just part of the price we pay for being animals that reproduce with genetically altered offspring. If that attraction didn't exist, we wouldn't reproduce. There is no way around that. It's a biological imperative.
true, but I can notice that a woman is sexually attractive without groping them or ejaculating on them. I feel slightly invasive if I simply take a second glance at someone.
I don't think biology has anything to say about whether the either party has to enjoy the process at all, just that it has to be done. After all there are many species where the male knows he's likely to be killed and eaten during sex and he still takes part.
I did find one thing about her story disturbing. After being ejaculated on she went home and had a bath. Surely a shower would have been a much better option.
Some people find baths more comforting, even if showers are more efficient at getting clean. That was an emotional grime she was trying to wash away.
I like baths too but the thing that bothered me was: some of the sperm might have still been alive.
Not after a hot bath. Hot tubs kill sperm.
But I don't think she was thinking about that at the time. She was reacting emotionally, not rationally.