Text Post: Just for fun! posted by Appaloosa
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  • drunkenninja
    +7

    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

    Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

    The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

    Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.