You can't worry about filling someone else's shoes. I know how cliche that sounds, but it sounds like you're not living in the moment. You should plan an activity on days you feel this way. Do something that makes you proud of yourself. I made every stop on the bourbon trail in Kentucky this weekend. It was beautiful country, and I got to see some of my favorite bourbons being made. The experience was incredible. You need some time to focus on yourself. Sometimes I go fishing. Being outdoors really helps me.