Add master of baseball to Homer's resume of donut expert and nuclear power plant safety inspector.

Stephen stance on the White House's proposed slashing of the food stamp program and children's health insurance program is somehow radical in 2017.

Hi, can I get a large fry?

MAGA hat, golf balls, the President is only bringing the essentials for his big trip overseas...

I'm not a sports fan, but I love serenditpity and coincidence, so...

The Onion has obtained hundreds of documents from an anonymous source within the White House.

Donald Trump reviews his accomplishments from his first 100 days in office.

A special, newly image-rehabilitated former president makes a surprise appearance.

A 35-year-old man from Wisconsin was enjoying his day off from work recently when a text suddenly appeared in his inbox. Hunny please grab milk and lunch meet on your way home, read the message. Given that the man, who goes by the name of velakskin, was already at home, and given that he didn't recognize the number, he figured that the sender had obviously contacted the wrong person.

The Trump Documents - The documents below are part of a trove of classified files provided to The Onion by an anonymous whistleblower in the White House.

It prepares to sell a piece of its crown jewel, Saudi Aramco, and reshape its economy

Reality doesn't happen by itself. Terry Lothian works tirelessly to maintain the background details that we all take for granted. But with his department feeling the pinch of austerity cutbacks, it's not just the fabric of reality that's starting to unravel. By the makers of multi award winning horror/crime thriller The Stomach, CLANKER MAN was commissioned by Talkies Community Cinema in association with Short Sighted Cinema for the HERE Film Festival 2017.

Pie's attention turns to Washington.

Police arrested a man accused of being drunk and knocking down a security robot that was built to prevent crime in Mountain View.

The bill has now made its way into the hands of the Texas State Affairs Committee Tuesday.

After puzzling over Trump's take on Bill O'Reilly's sexual harassment lawsuit, Stephen devotes his Wednesday monologue to that confounding Pepsi protest ad starring Kendall Jenner.

New York City’s street art scene is, in a certain light, very silly. Though there are many legitimate artists, it’s also full of pretentious blowhards with more opinions than brains. A lot of the art is bad, and a lot of the people are walking cliches.

AKRON, OH—Calling the situation dangerous and a rescue operation “very risky,” authorities have confirmed they will now lower a rescue chip into a seven-layer dip to save a broken Tostito that got caught in the party spread approximately...

On Twitter, people are using the #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos hashtag to create new United Airlines slogans, berating it for its horrid treatment of the passenger.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Tuesday said he’s “surprised” Americans aren’t overwhelmingly embracing his widely reported stance against marijuana, all the while recent polling reveals a majority of voters do in fact support legal pot.

Michael Falk interviews new prison inmate, disgraced financier, Brian Wasserman, and becomes spellbound by the repetitive monotony of daily prison life.

They're terrible at working together.

Seth takes a closer look at the GOP's failed health care bill.

This new video is like the mason's butt crack. You can see it.

The most recent Twitter account to achieve fame by #resisting the Trump administration is is @burnedyourtweet: A real-life, honest-to-god robot that prints out and incinerates hard copies of the president's tweets.

Bubba became an Internet star after Paul Milham posted a video of his daughter's tortoise scampering after a ball like a determined puppy.

The best techie April Fool's joke I found was this charming one from Amazon. Petlexa.

PHILADELPHIA—Visibly trembling as he wiped beads of perspiration from his forehead, Arcelis Pharmaceuticals CEO Paul Corrier told reporters Wednesday that he could stop profiting off the nation’s opioid crisis anytime he wants.