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The zombie apocalypse is upon us. What is your first move?

3 years ago by schrodingersman with 17 comments

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  • MyAnacondaDoes (edited 3 years ago)
    +8

    1. Ransack the store across my street immediately!

    Common mistake is to let it be until after you get your home stuff in order, wonder why every protagonist in media always gets nothing from markets? Grab extras of what I am lacking that I am going to be taking, extra water bottles and canned foods, along with plenty of batteries, and any medications I would need. Fill an entire backpack with the stuff. Food for months if rationed properly.

    2. Gather home supplies!

    Another backpack, tent, sleeping bag, more canned goods, more water bottles, a flashlight, more batteries, plenty of medical goods (band aids, neosporin, peroxide, gauze, cloth tape), lighter, flint and steel, matches, bat, largest blade I have, my ax, some of my books, my phone and it's charger, and my original GameBoy w/ Tetris, Mario Land, and Pokemon Yellow. Edit: Probably need a can opener also.

    Mostly necessary things, but I need to last in isolation and need entertainment and information. I am also bringing many unnecessary things while leaving behind more common things like extra clothes and whatnot. I'm probably going to be alone, so bringing more clothes is not really a worry.

    3. Get outta town!

    Take my car and haul ass. Edit: On my way out, I would hit up a hunting store and grab a handgun, tons of bullets, and some snares/bait for small game. Maybe a camo outfit. Big mistake is to stay in town, and organize with friends/family. Also, people are untrustworthy. Head to the wilderness immediately. I live in Michigan and live near one of the great lakes (Lake Eerie) which are national parks, I break into there and camp out. Also, at this point scout out the area and see if there is anyone or anything nearby that is harmful or helpful. If anything that makes me uneasy is around, delve deeper into the woods.

    4. Grab more supplies!

    As soon as camp is setup and secure, empty both of my backpacks and head to the nearest market and fill both with food and water again. Enough food for hopefully a year now if rationed properly. Take my car back to camp, drop off backpacks, then hide my car ~1 mile away under twigs, sticks, and leaves. Then set up the snares in the opposite direction from my camp about the same distance away.

    5. Talk to everyone important to me!

    Now alert my family I am fine and in hiding, chat with them for the rest of the day on my phone. Hopefully invite some to join me if they are fine or want to. After that, kick back and wait for this to blow over or for supplies to dwindle then grab more and keep waiting. Maybe at this point, have a wank too. It would have been a long day.

    Anything I could do to revise this plan?

    • idlethreat
      +5

      Anything I could do to revise this plan?

      Take into account the other 5,000-10,000 in your immediate area doing the exact same thing ;)

  • Hedgehogjawn
    +6

    I'm at work, currently, on a locked psych unit. So, call the husband, keep on lockdown until he can get to me, and then escape out the back stairs to sweet, sweet freedom.

    • schrodingersman
      +3

      Talk about a place you don't want to be when the shit hits the fan.

      • Hedgehogjawn
        +4

        Well...I was ready to argue that. I mean, its a locked unit and worst case scenario, I have 11 dementia patients I can use for bait (joking!), but yeah. We're right above the ER and I'm not sure who all has access to my unit. Respiratory doesn't. Security and House Charge does. I don't think the ER staff does, though. We have three doors, a sliding window, and I've of the doors is exit only. I'm probably screwed. Lol

  • idlethreat (edited 3 years ago)
    +4

    Hit the local vet's office and load up on all the medication.

    You see, everyone else and their buddy will be trashing the fuck out of CVS, Walgreens, and so on. Getting into fights, gunning each other down. Hit the vet's office and they have the exact same medications and antibiotics.

    I'll circle back to the drug stores later to pick up some specialized heart meds that will probably get ignored in the initial rush.

    I already have about a month's worth of dried foods (beans and rice) already in storage for 'just in case'. Not perfect, but it's enough to keep me going initially.

  • SaberSabre
    +3

    Looting a nearby store would be very dangerous and the store would probably already be looted so I would gather all the supplies in my house and my dog. Then it is to get into my car and driving to a forest in a remote location. After going there I would plant seeds (Luckily I already have a few) next year. Hunting would be a pain since I don't have any guns so I'll probably starve to death, but I could always go to a store to buy a few guns and bullets or steal them (Stealing is much more dangerous). Food would be the biggest issue but due to I being on the coast I could always fish.

  • Jetisr
    +3

    Probably get eaten by a zombie while researching how to survive a zombie apocalypse.

  • carpenoctem
    +3

    First thing I would do is take Sun Tzu's advice "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles."

    So, I've got to figure out what kind of zombies are we dealing with? Romero zombies? Kirkman zombies? Max Brooks Zombies (if so, book or movie)? Resident Evil Z's? Warm Bodies Z's? Shaun of the dead Z's? Crawlers? Runners?

    Once I've figured that out, it's a simple matter of studying the source materials. How were they created? What are their weaknesses? Who survives and who gets zombified and why? Maybe I'll need to study multiple sources, just in case. I know, it sounds like an excuse to play games, read books, watch movies and tv series whilst a zombie apocalypse is going on outside, but I'm only doing it for survival... I promise.

    In addition, I'll send /u/MyAnacondaDoes a direct message on Snapzu to meet up as he/she seems to a pretty solid plan.

  • anonycon
    +2

    The zombie apocalypse would be gruesome but short. Of course, numerous people would be zombified and would die, but the problem with the movies is that they all view it in the wrong light. The zombie apocalypse is less of an "invasion" and more of a "plague." It is essentially a disease that is spread by biting, which kills the victim, but also leaves him a shambling human-shaped substitute with no purpose but to multiply, again through biting.

    Movies always jump from the point of initial spread, then immediately jump to widespread infestation. But diseases don't work that way. Much of my commenting is based on arguably the best article ever written by Cracked, 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly), so my ideas aren't unique.

    Compare zombies to ebola, which caused a stir, especially when it briefly appeared in the US. Althoug Ebola spreads quickly through body fluids, and even then not even coughing or sneezing, so when you come in direct contact with blood or body fluid, transmission is very high, but if you're not touching blood or sleeping with an infected person, it can be avoided. Zombiesm is even harder to spread, since it must come through a bite. It'll spread, but not like wildfire.

    Another interesting point is that zombies, being dead walking human flesh, will deteriorate, will rot, will be subject to rigor mortis, and will be viewed as prey to animals from flies to mountain lions in a very short time. A zombie might get up from a stumble, but not from a broken leg. You don't have to kill the zombie to stop it: simply stop it's progression and you're golden.

    Treat a zombie outbreak like a disease outbreak, and you'll be golden. Get your family out of town, obey quarantines, let the outbreak wear itself out.

    • aj0690
      +3

      Great read! And yeah, I don't see the zombie epidemic doing as much damage as they show in the movies simply because continuing to bite someone would be hard once people realized whats going on.

    • Qukatt
      +1

      Well unless its evil dead style and magic based with the previously dead rising and animated limbs.

      Even t-virus style where animals can be infected, the virus can mutate the hosts and the who thing is rather more dangerous.

      We have to consider how to contain the outbreak, not getting biten isn't as easy as it sounds when you are trying to also treat and guard the outbreak. If the virus makes you crazy and or strong and or fast then it gets a bit more complicated.

      Also its always people who are hiding their initial infection who are the downfall of any healthy group.

      • anonycon
        +1

        Look, you're mixing up various zombie ideas. Are we talking Haitian magic, Romero story-lines, Bruce Campbell black comedy, or infectious disease? None of these things have any real likelihood of turning into a zombie apocalypse! My point was that, even if the worst did somehow occur, the most realistic would almost certainly wear itself out in a matter of a few days. Therefore, act with wisdom and care, get away from the outbreak and you should be safe.

        • Qukatt
          +1

          I'm not talking about mixed reasons, my point was there's many reasons that a zombie outbreak wouldn't behave like a regular disease situation.

          And the only constant is healthy groups tend to be torn apart by scared people who try to hide their infection. Especially when the go-to way to deal with it is to kill the infected person. I think a true zombie outbreak (say something like 28 days rage or Planet Terror chemical leak) wouldn't be as easily contained as something like ebola.

          Not least because we already are tainted by all these other ideas of zombie-ism and fantastical ideas on how it works and how to deal with it.