I think the answer to this, along with a lot of answers to human social interaction, is to experience and see more people. I have traveled and lived abroad for the last 10 years, meeting so many different people from different cultures.
I began to see a pattern after meeting enough people, where I would meet someone knew, and my first thought where that they where half my friend from college, and the other half my crazy French friend.
I started becoming non-judgmental after I had meet many, many people, becoming secure enough with myself that I do not feel threatened by a new person judging me, and I think that my degree in psychology helped grease the process.
The biggest quote from one of my professors to help both with judging and dealing with others good/bad/indifferent/angry attitudes of the day
"Whenever you think someone doesn't like you, is judging you, or is even outright belittling you, the thing that you always need to be cognizant of is that they will the majority of the time be projecting their internal state. If they are telling you that they think you suck, most likely they in fact think deep down inside that they suck."
Humans are inherently self centered. We default to thinking we cause all the emotional reactions from people. If you can let go of this innate tendency, and assume that all interactions are a result of their internal state, you will find that you are in a world of people dealing with internal chaos, and that you free yourself from it.
Judging people, I think, is assigning a label to them, when in reality we are all a mix of reasons and causations. That being said, I do have a hard time with some things:
being a bad parent, not taking care of yourself, and always complaining about how hard life is.'
I began to see a pattern after meeting enough people, where I would meet someone knew, and my first thought where that they where half my friend from college, and the other half my crazy French friend.
Did you figure out a reason for why did everyone remind you of those two people? That sounds very peculiar. Was there something particularly special about them?
"Whenever you think someone doesn't like you, is judging you, or is even outright belittling you, the thing that you always need to be cognizant of is that they will the majority of the time be projecting their internal state. If they are telling you that they think you suck, most likely they in fact think deep down inside that they suck."
This is very much true. Often the things I judge people for are the things I judge in myself.
Something other that I've realized is that rather than giving people the benefit of doubt, I assume they are just being a dick because I'm afraid of being wrong and embrrasing myself for thinking that they might have been a nice person. I think this is very, very weird way to think. Again it all boils down to being comfortable with yourself, as you said. Being comfortable with being judged.
What I meant is that you start to see patterns of personalities. Like each new person could be categorized as similar to someone that you had met before.
I think the answer to this, along with a lot of answers to human social interaction, is to experience and see more people. I have traveled and lived abroad for the last 10 years, meeting so many different people from different cultures.
I began to see a pattern after meeting enough people, where I would meet someone knew, and my first thought where that they where half my friend from college, and the other half my crazy French friend.
I started becoming non-judgmental after I had meet many, many people, becoming secure enough with myself that I do not feel threatened by a new person judging me, and I think that my degree in psychology helped grease the process.
The biggest quote from one of my professors to help both with judging and dealing with others good/bad/indifferent/angry attitudes of the day
"Whenever you think someone doesn't like you, is judging you, or is even outright belittling you, the thing that you always need to be cognizant of is that they will the majority of the time be projecting their internal state. If they are telling you that they think you suck, most likely they in fact think deep down inside that they suck."
Humans are inherently self centered. We default to thinking we cause all the emotional reactions from people. If you can let go of this innate tendency, and assume that all interactions are a result of their internal state, you will find that you are in a world of people dealing with internal chaos, and that you free yourself from it.
Judging people, I think, is assigning a label to them, when in reality we are all a mix of reasons and causations. That being said, I do have a hard time with some things:
being a bad parent, not taking care of yourself, and always complaining about how hard life is.'
Did you figure out a reason for why did everyone remind you of those two people? That sounds very peculiar. Was there something particularly special about them?
This is very much true. Often the things I judge people for are the things I judge in myself.
Something other that I've realized is that rather than giving people the benefit of doubt, I assume they are just being a dick because I'm afraid of being wrong and embrrasing myself for thinking that they might have been a nice person. I think this is very, very weird way to think. Again it all boils down to being comfortable with yourself, as you said. Being comfortable with being judged.
What I meant is that you start to see patterns of personalities. Like each new person could be categorized as similar to someone that you had met before.