Many years after my last duck and cover drill, I was stationed at a Strategic Air Command base during the latter part of the cold war.. I got kicked out of an all-ranks briefing because I couldn't stop giggling. An 0-5 was giving a big-picture overview of what would happen if the alert planes got an actual "go" order. When he got to the part about recovering returning aircraft, all I could picture was them trying to land in the crater that a 2-5Mton blast would leave, and flashing back to elementary school, hiding under a fucking desk.

We were less than 5 miles inland, and the warning time on an SLBM could have been as low as 5 minutes. I later got to explain to him in my commander's office that I realized he was trying to motivate the troops, but it was as silly then as it was in the 60s. I was ordered not to speak to my coworkers about the likelyhood of a SAC base being a primary first-strike target. Also got a letter of reprimand for my unprofessional behavior.