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Christmas PSA

Hello Everyone,

Crooked tale here to give you a bit of a warning for the Christmas Holidays. Christmas is that wonderful time of year where children, and the children at heart, anxiously await the day a strange man in a uniform comes to drop off presents. Nope, I am not talking about Santa Clause, I am talking the Delivery Man bringing Christmas cheer in the form of the complete knockoff set of "Walking Dead" Funcho Pop figures that you purchased directly from China for your stepson or the "Make America Grate Again" novelty baseball cap you ordered for mom from Preston Cheese Barn's "The finest cheese and crap from Wisconsin" online shop. Let's face it schlepping the local mall or Fleet Farm for 5 hours only to come back with a bottle of perfume, a stuffed bear, and a bad case of heartburn from Sbarro pizza does not put you in a festive mood. It is simpler to just click and purchase a wide selection of items through the internet and have it delivered directly to your door! The only downfall is hoping your packages does not get stolen after the delivery man drops it off. And lets face it, there is no way to predict the drop off time. I tried and the best I can come up with is somewhere between 5 min after you left the house (for any reason) and 2 min after you have dropped your pants and are comfortably sitting on the commode. It is estimated that 10's of thousands of packages are stolen every year, with the most packages being stolen during the Christmas holidays. So be on the lookout for nasty package thieves all through December and try, the best you can, to track your packages. If you have the willpower you can also quit your job and stop going to the bathroom from now until January 3rd and spend your time sitting outside your house with a shotgun and a pound of cheese. STAY VIGILANT!

9 months ago by CrookedTale with 3 comments

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  • jedlicka

    Also don't drink and drive kids!

  • NinjaKlaus

    We just had a story where a group was following UPS trucks, they would go in groups of 2-3 cars, one would follow the truck and radio to the other cars somewhere nearby the address of the package that was dropped off, they would then trade out positions to try and not get noticed.

    • CrookedTale

      That's Teamwork for you! The last of my packages came in this weekend so I don't have to worry much. The neighborhood is also close knit so we all kinda of watch what is happening. That is really the only defense we have.