Feeling low down, dirty, and mean >:\

So here is the situation. I have been working a lot lately, way too much if you ask me. For a company that really does not appreciate or even understand what I do. Since the old heads of the company have retired we are seeing a lot of new managers come in. Most of my coworkers have been leaving do to the new management and bad management that came with the new managers and they are not really hiring to compensate. This means the left overs get a huge pile of work every day. Luckily I only do one job (and I am the only one who does it for the company) so most of the extra work I have been doing is due to external influences which I cannot get into. For many years’ people I worked with wondered what I actually do for the company and wondered if I even work. But I am on call 24-7-365 for when the shit really hits the fan. Those who do know what I do also know that I have saved their asses more than I can count with my hands in the last 11 ½ years. But that does not really matter to the new managements agenda. For years people a heck of a lot higher up than mere managers have trusted me with their company but still I have to do another trust exercise this week. I am not sure if I can take another exercise. Meanwhile over the weekend one of the people in my department took a gun to his head because he couldn’t take life in general anymore. Now that is not me, I am more of a "Fuck this I am heading for the beach!" person. But still it churns my stomach. I am not depressed but I am really angry. Anger has much more power than depression.

So I am not going to do anything with this anger but let it pass. But the fact of the matter is I will end up leaving the company to their own devices. But I haven’t left yet. There were a few times over the past month that I steered my car in a different direction while driving to work. Usually to go to the dinner and call my manager while eating a greasy breakfast to tell him I had things to do so I would be late. This also gets me in trouble when I walk in later and the younglings look at me like I have no right to do so. Usually I tell them, and my manager, that they are really lucky I came in at all. Which is the truth. Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will just pack it in. Or maybe a month or two down the road. Not sure when it will happen but it is not too far away.

This also may mean that there just maybe a renewed effort to fill snapzu with more 70’s music. Left to my own devices I inevitably fall back to Piracy, Rum, Festivals, and the Slow Jams of the 70’s or PRFS7.

p.s I would have put this in /t/rant or /t/offmychest but no one seems to be there. So the lounge it is!!!!!!

p.s.s If any of you are managers or younglings remember that some of us have keys to places you never even knew about. When we hand over the keys it may be up to you to figure out what locks they open.