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  • Strangequark
    +10

    The Franklin Effect. Use it wisely.

    It's not got a huge amount of experimental evidence backing it up, but it essentially says that, if you want someone to like you, ask them for a favour. A small thing, usually, one they would generally perform out of politeness, like lending a book or helping you carry something. Although we would expect people to like us more if we do a favour for them, the human mind seems fantastic at resolving things in ways which benefit us. So if we have done something nice for someone, it must be because we like them, because we don't do nice things for people we don't like.

    Also, to be a better person, try to be vigilant in looking out for the corollary to this. Just as we must like someone because we have done something nice for them, we also believe that, if we have hurt someone, we must not like them. It certainly couldn't be that our action was expedient or beneficial for us, or that we really didn't care about hurting them, because we are good people. Therefore, we must not like them and there must be a reason for that. See: every dehumanising, demonising campaign against people we want to use or who our actions will hurt. History has plenty of examples. We hate the people we hurt. Be aware of this tendency, and be better than that. Know when you're rationalising your bad behaviour so you don't have to feel bad or apologise or act differently.