When people ask how I got the scar on my hand, I like to tell them the absolute truth in the worst possible way: I met a girl on the internet, waited for my fiancee to go to work, drove to meet her and then got in a car with her, walked into the woods and then got stabbed in the hand with my own knife.

Now to fill in the blanks:

I spend a lot of time volunteering, and decided to try helping someone in a web forum for my local area. It was a girl who was going to get her driver's license, but in order to drive up there she needed someone who was a licensed driver to be in the passenger seat. That's it. So I tell my finacee what's going on and when I'm going, so just in case this is a ruse and I get mugged she knows what's up. I go meet this person as planned, and it's all legit- we BS a little on the way up there, and I have her drop me off at a nature park across the street from the DMV. It'll be a couple hours, so I decide to go walk the nature trails to kill time.

Well about an hour in, the sun is warming up, so I sit down under a tree and decide it's the fucking Oregon Trail apparently so why don't we find a nice stick to whittle on for a bit. I try to find the best one- slim pickings in the area. I know it's a bad idea but whatever. Well, you can guess it from here- about 20 minutes in, my knife hits a knot and BUMP it's punctured the meat of my hand and pierced down to the medial nerve.

Oh boy.

I looked at it and honest to god thought "eh, I can probably walk this off" when it just started running blood out like a faucet. "OK I should call 911."

Since I hit the medial nerve, I passed out on the phone with 911, which led to an even crazier response, with ambulances driving across the nature park fields and reserve areas trying to find me as I walked out of the unmapped nature trails and back to the main park area. I was a bloody mess when I got back, and drew quite a crowd. So much blood for such a tiny hole. I called the girl from the ambulance and said something like "yeah go ahead and head on back, I hurt my hand and have to get some help for it", and that was the last we spoke.

So if you meet someone on the internet- contrary to popular opinion- if you go in the woods, don't use your knife.