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Published 11 months ago with 15 Comments

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  • Appaloosa
    +4

    I must have been a really dumb kid. If only my parents had led me through the whole show to psychoanalyze every scene. It may have changed my life forever.

    • AdelleChattre
      +5

      Maybe that would’ve helped you make different dating choices...

      • Appaloosa (edited 11 months ago)
        +4

        These should be formalized so that the people asking questions have references. They can be plotted against other questionnaires and then have an AI advisor pick the best possible outcome that matches their own priorities, thus making sure there is no disconnect in the relationship. The world constructed with rigid boundaries is a beautiful thing. You would have to be pretty well versed in history, religion and capitalism to pass the grade on these. I don't think a lot of people would do well on their first date if they never had exposure to a different understanding of those topics.

        • AdelleChattre
          +7

          Wait, before we go any further with this, I have to ask: does your allyship include the diffabled?

          • Appaloosa
            +4

            Let me check my notes before I answer. There's a lot riding on this. Well Monty, I'm gonna go with a yes for the win.

            • Appaloosa (edited 11 months ago)
              +3

              ...hey...wait a minute...best Clint Eastwood squint...am I being interviewed...punk.

            • Appaloosa
              +5
              @Appaloosa -

              You love me, not because I am you, but because I am not. I love you for the same reason, and I find this wonderful. No boundaries.

            • Appaloosa
              +6
              @Appaloosa -

              And for the voyeuristic aspect in you all, just watch. And learn.

            • AdelleChattre (edited 11 months ago)
              +6
              @Appaloosa -

              Take it easy, Baby! The ‘seasonal culture critic’ that brought you this slap-happy Rudolph takedown, Christina Cauterucci, might be lashing out because of personal issues. It can’t be easy even dealing when your D.C. nightlife blog’s gone under, so what if you’ve already gotten out of school and finally gotten a paying job. You try keeping your inner light alive turning out such work product as a defense of the one-boobed Christmas sweater and an acid-tongued take on why The Real L Word is bad for lesbians. Sometimes, wipes tear, even properly linking a meme is too much to endure. Yet, still, somehow, she's got a solid goddamn point here. I rather like her summation, too:

              In real life, there are no Santas with unimpeachable moral compasses. Good people can still end up with coal in their stockings, and sometimes, the people who shame others the loudest are doing the exact things they condemn. It’s never too early to disabuse a child of her respect for authority. [Emphasis added.]

              Sometimes it's not called Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer, sometimes it's called Karate Kid or Million Dollar Baby, and maybe you love them for their faults more every year, but they can still be genuinely messed up. While you may've gotten one thing out of it, if you happened to be the target of ridiculously cruel bullying for an intrinsic part of who you are, you might find that existential nightmare to be more stinging than you otherwise would. No reflection on you or your house-of-cards childhood, it's just more obvious when the allegory is impossible to miss.

              Good news though, chum. You passed. "Diffabled" is an ideologically acceptable way to refer to the differently-abled. We decided so at the last Thursday night meeting of the disaffected misfits-among-misfits society. Thanks for your unwitting participation in the cruelly indifferent hellscape of our daily lives!

            • Appaloosa
              +4
              @AdelleChattre -

              Thank you for including me.

            • Appaloosa
              +6
              @Appaloosa -

              And for what it is worth, I was bullied as a young guy. Many times.

            • Appaloosa (edited 11 months ago)
              +6
              @Appaloosa -

              You took a lot of effort and time to do this retort. If you did not care, then you would have not taken the time to do it.

            • Appaloosa
              +5
              @Appaloosa -

              Because you care.

            • Appaloosa
              +4
              @Appaloosa -

              More than you will ever know So what? I find it growing up is anathema to growing up

            • Appaloosa
              +4
              @Appaloosa -

              Slowly into the night

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