1. My Uncle Bill had a mouse living in his beard.
2. My Granda's name was Christopher John James Barnett Bay Gray (I believed this right up until is funeral 20 years ago).
3. That empty shotgun shells were fairy gold. My Granda used to tell me that and I stored them in a tin thinking they'd make me rich.
When I was younger, I used to always want to hang out with my brother and his friends though they would always exclude me. One day they told me that they had this cream that you rub anywhere on your body and it made your skin see-through. I was so excited yet afraid to see what it would do, but nonetheless I asked them to show me. They quickly rejected my request and kept bragging about how cool it was. It was only until a couple years back that I sat down and thought about it, realizing that they were lying to me and they never actually had the cream but probably saw someone else with it. Still wish I had some for myself to see what it would look like.
- All pregnant women gave birth on the same day every year. This is the only logical explanation I had for Labor Day.
- Black people could rub their black off on you. That's why their hands were a lighter color since they're rubbing the black off and it hasn't replenished yet
- it's pronounced OFF ICE. [was a little kid in the shopping cart asking my mom what OFF ICE meant on the sign above a door at the grocery store. She clued me in what it really said]
My "grandma" (older woman that babysat us) gave her husband a fake $1,000,000 dollar bill for his birthday as a gag gift. I was 5 and didn't know that it wasn't real, just that a million dollars was a ton of cash and I'd never have to work. When I and the other kids started fighting over who got to be a millionaire, she threw it out. I couldn't believe someone could be so rich a million dollars didn't mean anything to them.
I didn't figure it out until I reflected on it at her funeral... because that was the first time I remembered it in 17 years.
At night when it gets dark the world is covered by a big blanket to go to sleep and be cozy. The reason there are stars is the world is so old the blanket has holes in it which lets the light threw.
No, like there was a hole in their bodies. It didn't shoot or anything, was just a hole and you knew if you found your SO because your dick and balls fit perfectly in their hole.
When I was very young I ate a sandwich every single school day. Come heat or cold, hail or shine... who am I kidding, it's Aus, so constant warm floppy sandwiches. Getting sick of the repetition, I became bold and skipped lunch in favour of tossing a sandwich or two into the overgrown end of the backyard (why not bin it? Well, that would be sensible, see). I would thus come across them a few weeks later, moldering away. I was also a precocious reader/nerd who really enjoyed the history picture books I came across in the library. So the mold to me looked darkened, almost black, and spotty. Like... like bubonic pustules. Like the Black Death sinisterly spawning in my sandwiches!
No, seriously, I was pretty freaked out. Even gave me nightmares for a bit. I eventually decided that I had to do the right thing, so I think I disposed of it into a double tied plastic bag while wearing three layers of clothing, rubber gloves (washed down with liquid soap afterwards), and a bandanna tied over most of my face. I soon learnt better afterwards, but for that very brief time of my youth, it was a fearful time...
I thought for the longest time that dinosaurs had life spans of millions of years. I must have heard that the dinosaur's reign on Earth lasted millions of years, and somehow heard a bit differently. I'm kind of ashamed of that, actually.
Outside the city that I work in is an power substation. On the hill behind it is a billboard for McDonald's. As a child, I was convinced that that was were McDonald's food was made, then it was shipped to out local MCD. Why? I have no idea, but it made complete sense to me at the time.
I also believed our home was build on Native American burial grounds and convinced myself that my mom's meds were poison because, as a child with free reign of the late 90's internet, couldn't find anything on the manufacturer.
Up until I was 5 I believed that the universe began in the year 1700. Extrapolated that based on a book about trains, airplanes, and hot air balloons. Made sense at the time.
When I was really, really little, my parents used to tell me that babies came from mommy's tummy. So i always imagined that when mommy wanted a baby, her navel just opened up and out came this baby.
I thought that after highschool, you just went to an office, spoke to a nice lady behind the counter what you wanted to be, e.g. "Hello, I want to be a doctor" and you somehow studied something silly and that's it! I don't know why.
That frogs croaked because they were singing.
Join the Discussion
I believed a lot of things people told me....
1. My Uncle Bill had a mouse living in his beard.
2. My Granda's name was Christopher John James Barnett Bay Gray (I believed this right up until is funeral 20 years ago).
3. That empty shotgun shells were fairy gold. My Granda used to tell me that and I stored them in a tin thinking they'd make me rich.
That must have been one hell of a beard.
It was pretty epic
When I was younger, I used to always want to hang out with my brother and his friends though they would always exclude me. One day they told me that they had this cream that you rub anywhere on your body and it made your skin see-through. I was so excited yet afraid to see what it would do, but nonetheless I asked them to show me. They quickly rejected my request and kept bragging about how cool it was. It was only until a couple years back that I sat down and thought about it, realizing that they were lying to me and they never actually had the cream but probably saw someone else with it. Still wish I had some for myself to see what it would look like.
Oh, man. Overactive imagination time
- All pregnant women gave birth on the same day every year. This is the only logical explanation I had for Labor Day.
- Black people could rub their black off on you. That's why their hands were a lighter color since they're rubbing the black off and it hasn't replenished yet
- it's pronounced OFF ICE. [was a little kid in the shopping cart asking my mom what OFF ICE meant on the sign above a door at the grocery store. She clued me in what it really said]
I'm sure i'll remember more as the day goes on.
My "grandma" (older woman that babysat us) gave her husband a fake $1,000,000 dollar bill for his birthday as a gag gift. I was 5 and didn't know that it wasn't real, just that a million dollars was a ton of cash and I'd never have to work. When I and the other kids started fighting over who got to be a millionaire, she threw it out. I couldn't believe someone could be so rich a million dollars didn't mean anything to them.
I didn't figure it out until I reflected on it at her funeral... because that was the first time I remembered it in 17 years.
RIP Grandma Shirley.
At night when it gets dark the world is covered by a big blanket to go to sleep and be cozy. The reason there are stars is the world is so old the blanket has holes in it which lets the light threw.
When I was really young I thought girls had a penis.
I thought it was just inverted.
Like it just shoots out of them? ...Because that's what I thought.
No, like there was a hole in their bodies. It didn't shoot or anything, was just a hole and you knew if you found your SO because your dick and balls fit perfectly in their hole.
Technically, you were correct. ;)
When I was very young I ate a sandwich every single school day. Come heat or cold, hail or shine... who am I kidding, it's Aus, so constant warm floppy sandwiches. Getting sick of the repetition, I became bold and skipped lunch in favour of tossing a sandwich or two into the overgrown end of the backyard (why not bin it? Well, that would be sensible, see). I would thus come across them a few weeks later, moldering away. I was also a precocious reader/nerd who really enjoyed the history picture books I came across in the library. So the mold to me looked darkened, almost black, and spotty. Like... like bubonic pustules. Like the Black Death sinisterly spawning in my sandwiches!
No, seriously, I was pretty freaked out. Even gave me nightmares for a bit. I eventually decided that I had to do the right thing, so I think I disposed of it into a double tied plastic bag while wearing three layers of clothing, rubber gloves (washed down with liquid soap afterwards), and a bandanna tied over most of my face. I soon learnt better afterwards, but for that very brief time of my youth, it was a fearful time...
I believed the smallish dust particles we see in bright light rays were giant microbes and germs.
I thought for the longest time that dinosaurs had life spans of millions of years. I must have heard that the dinosaur's reign on Earth lasted millions of years, and somehow heard a bit differently. I'm kind of ashamed of that, actually.
Outside the city that I work in is an power substation. On the hill behind it is a billboard for McDonald's. As a child, I was convinced that that was were McDonald's food was made, then it was shipped to out local MCD. Why? I have no idea, but it made complete sense to me at the time.
I also believed our home was build on Native American burial grounds and convinced myself that my mom's meds were poison because, as a child with free reign of the late 90's internet, couldn't find anything on the manufacturer.
Money comes from ATMs. Once you grow up you get the card you need to put in there so money comes out - as much you want.
Up until I was 5 I believed that the universe began in the year 1700. Extrapolated that based on a book about trains, airplanes, and hot air balloons. Made sense at the time.
When I was really, really little, my parents used to tell me that babies came from mommy's tummy. So i always imagined that when mommy wanted a baby, her navel just opened up and out came this baby.
Boy was I horrified when I learned the truth.
I thought that after highschool, you just went to an office, spoke to a nice lady behind the counter what you wanted to be, e.g. "Hello, I want to be a doctor" and you somehow studied something silly and that's it! I don't know why.
That frogs croaked because they were singing.