For Your Saturday Night Comedy Routine

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I'm so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and have to confess. I've been helping myself to your wife. Day and night, when you're not around. In fact, more than you. Afraid to say, quite perverted things as well. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt, and hope you will accept my sincerest apology, and promise it'll never happen again.

Bob, his flabber well and truly gasted, didn't know what to do. A few moments later, another text came through:

Damn autocorrekt! I meant "WiFi."