Saying goodbye to Mother .

We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned Uber and requested a ride. The car arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, had jumped the fence and shot back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house, because she always tries to get to the bird, with a meal in mind.

My wife goes on out to the car, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the car, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the car. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'

The Uber driver was very scared.