Get a load of this. A national political magazine that’s secure enough in the bedroom and the boardroom to moralize at us about the sex they think we should have.

The Washington Examiner knows, and will tell you for free, what’s romantic (don’t speak), what’s sexy (pretty rapey stuff actually) and what’s not (which they seem to think is true for everyone, of course, because what are you, some kind of freak, you perv?).

Actually, should say the author tells you what is and what is not allowed. Because Ashe Schow, apparently her real name, has very definite ideas. When she was ‘at’ the Heritage Foundation and Heritage for America, she walked on the wild side, I’m sure. You don’t make it as a copywriter and an astroturfer in those social circles without getting a firm grip on what normative, consensual human sexual behavior is. Sure, she graduated from Florida State, like, last week, but when you spend your free time representing GamerGate to the press, you learn a thing or two about sexual tragicomedy. Know-how this little missy is all-too-ready and willing to lecture you about.

How can she be so sure what you’re allowed in your bedroom? Buy her a Long Island iced tea, and see if she’ll tell you.

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