9 years ago
9
I Am Terrified that My Bad Parenting Choices Will Go Viral
This week, all of your friends’ Facebooks exploded over a mini-melee at Marcy’s Diner, a tiny restaurant in Portland, Maine. Accounts differ as to what exactly transpired during what shall henceforth be known as Brunchgazi, but all parties agree: A toddler became unruly in a restaurant during a long wait for pancakes, the parents didn’t remove her...
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I agree with this article in that I find myself, at times, terrified that one little screw up in public can completely detonate my entire life if it gets on the internet. Not even just related to any kids I have, but things such as the guy who took a selfie with kids in the background the mom started a hate crusade against him. The internet has become a center for the ultimate polarization of society and a massive hate box that constantly feeds on stories like these.
Nothing really productive comes of them, and nobody really seeks to understand if someone is just tired, having a bad day, not paying attention, or what have you. Because, by the time the details are sorted out, the hate has already started, and that's terrifying.
I mentioned this phenomenon in the Hulk Hogan story that popped up recently. Tl;dr, someone posted Hogan saying some racist things in a private conversation from 8 years ago, the story got picked up by The National Enquirer, and now the WWE has disowned him, and even removed him from the Hall of Fame.
It terrifies me that someone could find something I said nearly a decade ago and get me fired for it, today. I don't agree with all the stances I held 3 years ago, let alone 8. But as you mentioned, the phenomenon isn't limited just to the past. I'd be horrified to find that someone recorded me on a bad day and put it on YouTube with my name attached. We shouldn't judge people based on isolated incidents of us at our worse, but that's the type of drama that sells. If a consumer market didn't exist for it, if people weren't begging to be fed stories like these, they wouldn't exist at all.
It is silliness that people have lost the ability to talk like human beings and have to go to Facebook and post a dissertation as to how they are wronged. Like /u/a7h13f said why not just talk to them face to face, or if you are you to scared to do that why not call them privately and explain the situation to get it resolved.
While the restaurant owner shouldn't have yelled at the child (because, face it, a 2 year old doesn't know why it's being yelled at. You'd have better results yelling at a turtle), she should have been more forceful in asking the parents to leave. Yes, your crying child does ruin everyone else's time, and yes, there is something you can do about it. Call buzzfeed because I'm about to tell you One Simple Trick to Making the Rest of the World Not Hate Your Kid:
Parents, if your child is crying in public, pick them up, then take them outside until the tantrum subsides. Afterwards, come back into the movie or restaurant! No one who is paying to go out for drinks, dinner, or a movie is there because they want to hear your child scream. The restaurant employees don't enjoy hearing your child scream. If your child is prone to screaming, consider getting a babysitter so your child can scream in the comfort of your own home.
I do agree with your sentiment. My wife and I are expecting our first and I do not look forward to our first trip out where she(our soon to be daughter) will be an asshole and try to ruin our time. I think, like you said, that there is a better way than posting a facebook post about an establishment. I know it is the times that we live in, but I do not understand the fascination with posting everything going on in your life to the internet. I think like you said a private message, phone call, or maybe after the fact (the next day ect.) going to talk to the owner would be much more productive.
Absolutely. The restaurant owner shouldn't have yelled at the kid. The parents should have been more considerate of the staff and other patrons of the restaurant, and they should have resolved it as adults instead of trying to start a witch hunt. I think it's unreasonable to expect that every infant is going to be perfectly behaved, but at the same time, as parents, they should have a plan for diffusing the situation when the inevitable tantrum does happen. They certainly shouldn't have just let the behavior continue for nearly an hour.
I agree with that, but I think we're way too judgmental about kids. They don't know how to behave, they can't talk, and it's hard for families with small kids to celebrate a major life event. My family includes the kids, and if grandma wants to to to her favorite restaurant with her family, the kids are part of that. Yes we're going to try to keep things quiet, but they're two, cousin billy is 3 and the oldest is 6. And I feel like a lot of people are expecting small children to be little adults.
Sure, keep the kids quiet, take them out if they're having a meltdown, even choose a more casual place. I get that. But I don't think having a family means that extended family birthdays need to happen at Burger King because three year olds talk loud.
Despite my best efforts as a parent I think my kids will be ok!
It seems like there are two types of parents now. The ones that care and do their best to parent and the ones that allow others to parent because they believe their children are innocent angels who do no wrong. The ones who don't parent are the problem, that's all. We spent too many years protecting them, not allowing men near them (doesn't matter if they are the fathers or uncles) and telling them that everyone is a winner. Too many people going crazy because disciplining their kids might be seen as abuse. This is just the backlash to that mentality.