“be careful what you wish for it might come true”

Some of this is due to pressure of YouTube and social media and whatnot. However, a lot of this is just EQ. Or lack thereof

Life is not bliss on tap. I don’t know how else to put it

“This is all I ever wanted and I’m so unhappy”

Well... yeah. Welcome to reality. Where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. Joke

But seriously what you want is not necessarily what will make you happy. In fact, want is an impediment to happiness if you wanna get easterner about it

http://funnycenter.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/I-Want-Happiness.jpg

So if you need to go through the five stages of grieving to get over the loss of your innocence then you should do that. And perhaps next time don’t rush with such haste towards your life ambitions so you can transition through your naivety hymen break a little less violently. Because it will happen again. Time and time again

Life is all about shattering your expectations so get good at dealing with having your expectations shattered. Keep the lessons, discard the heartache and move on

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

It is unfortunate you chose as your profession to deal with all this in the public eye and that makes it more tricky but it is your choice. And your acting choice. You can step away into blissful anonymity at any point if you choose. So bear that in mind

Very interesting article to me (since I'm a youtuber)

There's a real danger to YouTube if this trend continues while the algorithm continues to abuse/demonetize smaller channels. Who will replace the top channels if the smaller guys just keep getting stepped on?

Maybe it's because the demand of pleasing and putting on the show that you do, is getting to you, and you are realizing the truth that it's all just a smokescreen: A fabricated reality that you have created and the cognitive dissonance you are facing is causing you to be depressed because your life has become unreal.

Do you suppose that this might be why so many celebrities are jacked up on drugs and engage in licentious behaviour? Do you suppose that the reality of celebrity is based on a supposition that your "fans" assume they know you, but in reality only know the image that you are, and in fact your image, your youtube 'personae' is just the masquerade you put on?