Just Saw Rouge One...

So this is where I am going to ruin it for everyone who has seen it or has not seen it yet. I could do that by pointing out plot holes, telling you about all the easter eggs, or giving you the ending. But that probably wouldn't ruin the movie to most of us who have a internet connection and the ability to log on to YouTube which host a bunch of videos discussing the Rogue One movie. I am going to ruin it with one word (read no further if you don't want the movie ruined). The word is "PENS"!

Yes this whole movie was ruined for me by the costume designer/directors (or whatever you call them in the movies) over use of PENS in POCKETS! You wont notice it right away, I didn't because I was interested in the story and was not paying particular attention to what the actors were wearing. But about 1/4 of the way through the movie I started to notice the PENS. I don't know why but after noticing them I could not UN-notice them. Almost everyone had some sort of PEN sticking out of their pockets, and some had up to 5 PENS in clear view on the screen. I saw PENS on shoulders, arms, chests, pants, and I think a belt buckle! Multiple big silver PENS, which no one ever used in the movie, sticking out of multiple pockets in places that seem inconvenient to hold a PEN. For Christ sake one of the actor had 4 or 5 PENS on the top of their left arm, right bellow their shoulder, that seemed to form a horizontal peacock tail. The good guys had PENS, the bad guys had pens, the people who were neither good nor bad had PENS, PENS everywhere! Some PENS had clips to keep them in pockets, some did not have clips, some PENS were thick, some PENS were thin, Some PENS had patterns or lights, others were very simple yet elegant. Aliens, who may or may not had the finger structure to use a PEN, had pockets full of PENS! My son did point out to me that one of the characters, towards the end of the movie, used a PEN as a communicator to warn some rebels. But the person on the other end of the communication used a standard walkies - talkies to talk back to him even though he clearly had 3 PENS right there on his jacket. If the PENS were communicators then wouldn't they all be communicators? You would think with that many pens you would see someone righting down a note or something. but the PENS just sit there doing nothing and I am just sitting in a movie theater counting PENS. That made it a crap movie.

I know the movie takes place a long time ago and in a galaxy far far away. Maybe its a cultural difference, maybe there was a sect of people that up to the time that the Death Star plans are stolen worshiped some benevolent PEN god and after the plans were stolen they were all like "We'll the PEN god didn't help one bit, Fuck him, everyone throw out your PENS!" I think this because in the lastest very end of the movie, where the original Star Wars begins, the PENS are gone. Or maybe the PENS thought "Crap all this violence is gumming up my ink, let us all leave my PEN brethren!" Then ZAP! all the PENS leave in a flash of magical light! Not sure how it happened but I know that my movie experience watching Rogue One was ruined by some weirdos obsession with PENS!

So if you go to see Rogue One look out for the PENS then come back here and help me figure this PEN mystery out. I will not be able to sleep until I figure it out or finish my bottle of rum.

Edit: Because rouge is a makeup thingy.