Coming from the not-deep Southeast, saying condescending things like "Bless your heart" while not even bothering to pretend to care. (Bonus points if the speaker flashes the gaudy rings on their fingers while bringing their hand up to their chest dramatically.)
I lived in Virginia for several years. While I was there I learned that the phrase "Bless your/his/her/their heart" is used when you want to insult someone, but you don't want to be held accountable for your actions. So, essentially, you can say anything you want about a person and as long as you follow up with "Bless her heart" you are good to go, no harm, no foul.
I have experienced this quite a few times and I guess I'm too Yankee for it to work on me. IMO, they're not "manners" when you're being rude/condescending, and if they're blessing my heart to be nasty I just return fire as if they'd said what they meant. This made me a minor celebrity among my wife's Louisiana relatives when I barked back at a particularly snooty bless-your-hearter during a family picnic. She turned out to be the dragon lady aunt that everyone was afraid to cross. I had not yet been introduced. She doesn't speak to me now, which is cool because she's a truly miserable person. All the cousins-in-law are jealous too.
Yeah, that's more or less the experience in South Carolina, too. The exception here is when a person you're already friends with says it. The tone in that case just means that they're genuinely sympathetic with your situation.
I've actually experienced more of the nice "Bless your heart"s than than the mean ones, though this could be an effect of the company I keep.
As a relatively needy person, all I can say is :( .
I really hope others don't see me as a narcissistic individual; my neediness comes from a combination of anxiety and autophobia, not anything damaging to others.
A. You interpret everything in light of you. That guy that was late was doing it to hurt you. Your mom wanting to go to dinner with her friends is about her hating you.
B. Nothing is your fault. Like if you fail, teacher is mean. Get fired, boss is a jerk.
The inability to see how one might be at fault for conflicts they end up in.
There seems to be a large group of people that simply cannot fathom how their actions may have resulted in someone being upset at them, or a general feeling of negativity towards them by their peers. They feel that it's the other person's fault for being "too sensitive" or "actually in the wrong," and that they have no contribution to how an acquaintanceship may have gone south. In their eyes, they can do no wrong and the cause of everyone's problems is themselves.
They're commonly seen complaining on Facebook about how the world is filled with assholes, and that everyone just needs to lean how to deal with him or her. They're the person that claims that someone else needs to "learn to take a joke," or "stop being oversensitive," because they're upset over what he or she said. They're the ones that makes a whole room say, "Thank God," when they finally head home, because they're so tired of dealing with such a lack of empathy, that they cannot see how they may have ever done things wrong.
A combination of a lack of empathy and a sense of self-righteousness is the defining characteristic of a narcissist - and a lot of people I have met in my life.
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Posting constantly on Facebook and fishing for likes.
And the constant selfies... seriously, enough is enough.
Coming from the not-deep Southeast, saying condescending things like "Bless your heart" while not even bothering to pretend to care. (Bonus points if the speaker flashes the gaudy rings on their fingers while bringing their hand up to their chest dramatically.)
I lived in Virginia for several years. While I was there I learned that the phrase "Bless your/his/her/their heart" is used when you want to insult someone, but you don't want to be held accountable for your actions. So, essentially, you can say anything you want about a person and as long as you follow up with "Bless her heart" you are good to go, no harm, no foul.
I have experienced this quite a few times and I guess I'm too Yankee for it to work on me. IMO, they're not "manners" when you're being rude/condescending, and if they're blessing my heart to be nasty I just return fire as if they'd said what they meant. This made me a minor celebrity among my wife's Louisiana relatives when I barked back at a particularly snooty bless-your-hearter during a family picnic. She turned out to be the dragon lady aunt that everyone was afraid to cross. I had not yet been introduced. She doesn't speak to me now, which is cool because she's a truly miserable person. All the cousins-in-law are jealous too.
Yeah, that's more or less the experience in South Carolina, too. The exception here is when a person you're already friends with says it. The tone in that case just means that they're genuinely sympathetic with your situation.
I've actually experienced more of the nice "Bless your heart"s than than the mean ones, though this could be an effect of the company I keep.
One person dominating the conversation in a group and discouraging anyone else from talking. You know the type.
Needy, needy, needy.
As a relatively needy person, all I can say is :( .
I really hope others don't see me as a narcissistic individual; my neediness comes from a combination of anxiety and autophobia, not anything damaging to others.
I feel you. Same here.
Telling people trying to prevent the consequences of your vanity that they're just jealous.
A few things.
A. You interpret everything in light of you. That guy that was late was doing it to hurt you. Your mom wanting to go to dinner with her friends is about her hating you.
B. Nothing is your fault. Like if you fail, teacher is mean. Get fired, boss is a jerk.
I think you might be thinking of sociopaths. Maybe sociopathy and narcissism go hand in hand?
The inability to see how one might be at fault for conflicts they end up in.
There seems to be a large group of people that simply cannot fathom how their actions may have resulted in someone being upset at them, or a general feeling of negativity towards them by their peers. They feel that it's the other person's fault for being "too sensitive" or "actually in the wrong," and that they have no contribution to how an acquaintanceship may have gone south. In their eyes, they can do no wrong and the cause of everyone's problems is themselves.
They're commonly seen complaining on Facebook about how the world is filled with assholes, and that everyone just needs to lean how to deal with him or her. They're the person that claims that someone else needs to "learn to take a joke," or "stop being oversensitive," because they're upset over what he or she said. They're the ones that makes a whole room say, "Thank God," when they finally head home, because they're so tired of dealing with such a lack of empathy, that they cannot see how they may have ever done things wrong.
A combination of a lack of empathy and a sense of self-righteousness is the defining characteristic of a narcissist - and a lot of people I have met in my life.